Oz
I was walking thru the yellow brick road but at the end never can't find the Wizard of Oz... I was heartless like the Tin-Man, but you remind me that I have a heart and sometimes it feels nice to use it.. but before is to late i need to ask the flying monkeys to take me away from here, maybe the wicked witch has the answer for my problem....I need to keep myself away from you. I miss you like Dorothy miss Kansas.. but honestly I refused to do it... I can't read your mind... maybe you're looking for your brain like the Scare Crow... but I know your heart but you're afraid of something that is annoying me so bad... Your mute mode is driving me crazy.. so I give up... Oz is the end of my road,,, I wanted too get to know you but you are so far away from my head now... The sun was burning, the clouds were turning,,, nothing is like your smile....
22.5.10
24.4.10
a YeAr AGo
Was in a day like this 365 days ago, it was cloudy(like today, my stomach was full of butterfly's, my pulse was faster than ever... weird don't even know you at that time... I've got lost for 15 minutes... finally I found you, walking thru the crowd, with ur red shorts, sandals, brown T shirt... your hair was longer.... anyway.
Today I feel nostalgic... bc we aren't together, and we never will. This time love is not enough to burn all the bridges.. a year ago, u made me the happiest man in the world... I fell in love but I lose again. Just the time will heal my wounds and help me thru this to start all over... Is raining now, like it is in my heart. After all love never dies... we kill it.
Was in a day like this 365 days ago, it was cloudy(like today, my stomach was full of butterfly's, my pulse was faster than ever... weird don't even know you at that time... I've got lost for 15 minutes... finally I found you, walking thru the crowd, with ur red shorts, sandals, brown T shirt... your hair was longer.... anyway.
Today I feel nostalgic... bc we aren't together, and we never will. This time love is not enough to burn all the bridges.. a year ago, u made me the happiest man in the world... I fell in love but I lose again. Just the time will heal my wounds and help me thru this to start all over... Is raining now, like it is in my heart. After all love never dies... we kill it.
14.4.10
AfTer a WhiLe!!!
Well is been a while since the last time I'd wrote something, well a new thing came to my life, like the XV, redoing the dress, "el ramo", the Madonna remix (hang up/sorry), Luis.... wow is a lot for the next months. I feel good about all this.
Well I'm working harder and being less lazy, I guess so!!!!
The vampire diares are better everytime, God of War III is awesome it took me 2 week to bit the game..... well to much going on, just a short post to publish.
Well is been a while since the last time I'd wrote something, well a new thing came to my life, like the XV, redoing the dress, "el ramo", the Madonna remix (hang up/sorry), Luis.... wow is a lot for the next months. I feel good about all this.
Well I'm working harder and being less lazy, I guess so!!!!
The vampire diares are better everytime, God of War III is awesome it took me 2 week to bit the game..... well to much going on, just a short post to publish.
28.3.10
ConFunDido estoY!!!
No puedo creer k lo k tanto anhele tener entre mis brazos, el sentimiento fue el opuesto para mis emociones k en ese momento fueron nulas. Ansiaba tenerle entre mis brazos sentir su piel contra la mia, pero despues de tanto tiempo mis sentimientos han cambiado, de hecho al verle no senti esa coskilla en la panza, las ansias lokas de abrazarle, sencillamente no fueron las mismas k yo me habia imaginado. Sera por k no confio en el?, no puedo kitarme la idea de k ha estado con alguien mas, en sus ojos ya no siento esa calma k me transportaba a otro mundo.
Durante la noche no concilie el sueno, solo pensaba en que si realmente eso era lo que deseaba tener en mi vida? si acaso esto se volveria solo el encuentro ocasional entre dos "strangers" solo por no sentirse solo?, k mas da estar con el si ya no siento lo mismo? para que seguir detiendome en aire ligero?.
En fin no pude ni kedarme mas tiempo con el, tenia k salir y gritar, repirar... le volvi a ver por la tarde solo para reafirmar k ya no somos lo k soliamos ser.... el ya no se pierde en mis miradas, ya no puedo sentir que la noche es eterna.
Le hable despues del club pero yo sabia k no deberia hacerlo, algo me dice k estaba con alguien mas, me senti furioso, pero me trankilize y solo kise dormir. Por la manana ya no me sentia tan mal, y no lo hago ahora, es lo k me siento confundido de no saber para donde mirar o solo seguir adelante en este camino k no esta destinado para ambos. Ya no es lo mismo y nunca lo sera otra vez.
No puedo creer k lo k tanto anhele tener entre mis brazos, el sentimiento fue el opuesto para mis emociones k en ese momento fueron nulas. Ansiaba tenerle entre mis brazos sentir su piel contra la mia, pero despues de tanto tiempo mis sentimientos han cambiado, de hecho al verle no senti esa coskilla en la panza, las ansias lokas de abrazarle, sencillamente no fueron las mismas k yo me habia imaginado. Sera por k no confio en el?, no puedo kitarme la idea de k ha estado con alguien mas, en sus ojos ya no siento esa calma k me transportaba a otro mundo.
Durante la noche no concilie el sueno, solo pensaba en que si realmente eso era lo que deseaba tener en mi vida? si acaso esto se volveria solo el encuentro ocasional entre dos "strangers" solo por no sentirse solo?, k mas da estar con el si ya no siento lo mismo? para que seguir detiendome en aire ligero?.
En fin no pude ni kedarme mas tiempo con el, tenia k salir y gritar, repirar... le volvi a ver por la tarde solo para reafirmar k ya no somos lo k soliamos ser.... el ya no se pierde en mis miradas, ya no puedo sentir que la noche es eterna.
Le hable despues del club pero yo sabia k no deberia hacerlo, algo me dice k estaba con alguien mas, me senti furioso, pero me trankilize y solo kise dormir. Por la manana ya no me sentia tan mal, y no lo hago ahora, es lo k me siento confundido de no saber para donde mirar o solo seguir adelante en este camino k no esta destinado para ambos. Ya no es lo mismo y nunca lo sera otra vez.
23.3.10
MinD tRIp (dEntal SurGery)
Wow I'm having a mind trip with the pills and shit... YAY!!!!
I had my tooth surgery yesterday, man was so bloody and crazy, they took 45 min to take it off... the dentist was "wrestling" with my tooth.... they had to crushed it that way it was more easy to get it out. After 6 injections of "anesthesia" the pain went away.
After the surgery I was feeling pain, a lot of pain... good thing Maria and David took me to the clinic!!!! anyway, I've got home and I'd took like 30000 pills for the pain, it was insufferable, when I'd tried to eat I was bleeding, damn those hours were horrible.... I took a nap and the pain was gone but after it came back
even harder.... I took the pills... mind trip... and I went to bed...I had a great nite sleep, well just @ 3:20 am Dann texted me.... it was cute the way he woke me up.... anyway.... so today I was doing nothing. My face looks like a Chipmunk, is hard to talk, easy to eat(oatmeal, mashed potatoes). I feel a lil bit better but not sure to going to work tomorrow.
My sick day was so lazy......
Ps, thanks to all the people who cares about me, thanks for the text and calls, also IM....
Wow I'm having a mind trip with the pills and shit... YAY!!!!
I had my tooth surgery yesterday, man was so bloody and crazy, they took 45 min to take it off... the dentist was "wrestling" with my tooth.... they had to crushed it that way it was more easy to get it out. After 6 injections of "anesthesia" the pain went away.
After the surgery I was feeling pain, a lot of pain... good thing Maria and David took me to the clinic!!!! anyway, I've got home and I'd took like 30000 pills for the pain, it was insufferable, when I'd tried to eat I was bleeding, damn those hours were horrible.... I took a nap and the pain was gone but after it came back
even harder.... I took the pills... mind trip... and I went to bed...I had a great nite sleep, well just @ 3:20 am Dann texted me.... it was cute the way he woke me up.... anyway.... so today I was doing nothing. My face looks like a Chipmunk, is hard to talk, easy to eat(oatmeal, mashed potatoes). I feel a lil bit better but not sure to going to work tomorrow.
My sick day was so lazy......
Ps, thanks to all the people who cares about me, thanks for the text and calls, also IM....
21.3.10
sTiLl?
I'm still dealing with P. is so hard to leave my feelings on the side and just keep going, I'd ran away from my feelings so many times, so this time I don't wanna do it, but @ what price? the price to be sad and crying for P. being depressed almost everyday, just waiting for the answer falling out from the sky, I have to do something about it, honestly I'm getting sick of this every fucking day, the mini dramas, the bad feelings, the anger, the madness, the emptiness, the loneliness... all those are killing me slowly.... dunno for how long can keep doing this.
I want P. in my life but then I don't want P. in my life. I love P. one second then I hate P. for days, I want to hear P's voice and then when I've got it, can't take it anymore.... So I'm in limbo just rite in the middle... I miss P. next to me, but can't trust him @ all, his words are like a bunch of lies in my head, but how I can't take all this feelings away?.
I hope can find the switch to turn it off.... but I can't be without P, but can't be with P... there's is the dilemma.
I'am the only one to get out of this so I know I want too, but I don't know how.
"Slipped Away" by Avril Lavigne
Na na, na na na, na na
I miss you, miss you so bad
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Ooooh
Na na na na na na na
I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't
Oooooh
I hope you can hear me cause I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Ooooh
I had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why
And I can't take it
It wasn't fake
It happened, you passed by
Now you are gone, now you are gone
There you go, there you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back
Now you are gone, now you are gone
There you go, there you go,
Somewhere your not coming back
The day you slipped away
Was the day i found it won't be the same noo..
The day you slipped away
Was the day that i found it won't be the same oooh...
Na na, na na na, na na
I miss you
I'm still dealing with P. is so hard to leave my feelings on the side and just keep going, I'd ran away from my feelings so many times, so this time I don't wanna do it, but @ what price? the price to be sad and crying for P. being depressed almost everyday, just waiting for the answer falling out from the sky, I have to do something about it, honestly I'm getting sick of this every fucking day, the mini dramas, the bad feelings, the anger, the madness, the emptiness, the loneliness... all those are killing me slowly.... dunno for how long can keep doing this.
I want P. in my life but then I don't want P. in my life. I love P. one second then I hate P. for days, I want to hear P's voice and then when I've got it, can't take it anymore.... So I'm in limbo just rite in the middle... I miss P. next to me, but can't trust him @ all, his words are like a bunch of lies in my head, but how I can't take all this feelings away?.
I hope can find the switch to turn it off.... but I can't be without P, but can't be with P... there's is the dilemma.
I'am the only one to get out of this so I know I want too, but I don't know how.
"Slipped Away" by Avril Lavigne
Na na, na na na, na na
I miss you, miss you so bad
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Ooooh
Na na na na na na na
I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't
Oooooh
I hope you can hear me cause I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Ooooh
I had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why
And I can't take it
It wasn't fake
It happened, you passed by
Now you are gone, now you are gone
There you go, there you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back
Now you are gone, now you are gone
There you go, there you go,
Somewhere your not coming back
The day you slipped away
Was the day i found it won't be the same noo..
The day you slipped away
Was the day that i found it won't be the same oooh...
Na na, na na na, na na
I miss you
16.3.10
hOlDing iN thin Air
I'm still hearing your voice
whispering my name
every night next to the moon
is just fate
going against the clock
seeing the sky getting bigger
running away from the light
such a phobia
Breathing the last memory of you
the line who divide heaven from hell
is strong to keep me away
in the road to get the truth
just I'm asking you
to stay away from me
I can't think about you loving me
U were all that I wanted
all that tough I need
somehow you still
but like the rain evaporates
I have to take you away
away from my heart
I feel like holding on thin air
can't breath with you next to me
everything is falling around
just holding
and breathing this thin air
is invisible but it feels blue
sometimes red
I can't be without you
but can't be with you
is hard to understand.
I know you so well
but too much to take
just leave me where I'm
I don't need your hand
want to be who I was
who I was before you came along
the time keeps runing
is my turn to take back
all the broken promises and the broken dreams
I feel like holding on thin air
can't breath with you next to me
everything is falling around
just holding
and breathing this thin air
is invisible but it feels blue
sometimes red
New hit writen by ME...
I'm still hearing your voice
whispering my name
every night next to the moon
is just fate
going against the clock
seeing the sky getting bigger
running away from the light
such a phobia
Breathing the last memory of you
the line who divide heaven from hell
is strong to keep me away
in the road to get the truth
just I'm asking you
to stay away from me
I can't think about you loving me
U were all that I wanted
all that tough I need
somehow you still
but like the rain evaporates
I have to take you away
away from my heart
I feel like holding on thin air
can't breath with you next to me
everything is falling around
just holding
and breathing this thin air
is invisible but it feels blue
sometimes red
I can't be without you
but can't be with you
is hard to understand.
I know you so well
but too much to take
just leave me where I'm
I don't need your hand
want to be who I was
who I was before you came along
the time keeps runing
is my turn to take back
all the broken promises and the broken dreams
I feel like holding on thin air
can't breath with you next to me
everything is falling around
just holding
and breathing this thin air
is invisible but it feels blue
sometimes red
New hit writen by ME...
14.3.10
sAy gOoDbYe....4eV3r?
I say goodbye to you, bc I can't deal with this rite now, is so hard for me just wondering If we can be together, wondering when is gonna be the day you'll decided if you want me in ur life.
U ask me to be friends, but how we can be friend with all the history behind us? Is gonna take me a while 'till I'll be able to look at you and left my feelings on the side, I need to find the lost pieces of myself, I'm broken, without nothing left. I'm standing in the dark while u having fun going out, meeting people, maybe one of those guys can give you what u want, I don't have any feelings for you rite now.
Every cell of my is dead inside my heart, ur ghost is haunting me every day, every fucking minute of the day, I'm so tired to live like this.
It doesen't matter what u say, can't believe in any of your words, u said that U care about me, but tell me how? U never call or text... so I'm giving up on you forever, is nothing left to try or rescue. I want to be able to be myself again, without thinking of u. Without you in my life is the only way to get to the other side.
I don't wanna get into details but rite now u are nothing for me, just a stranger who broke my heart twice in less than a year... goodbye P.
How do you always know what I will say?
You seem to know me in the clearest way
I want to run and hide, keep you from finding me
You shouldn’t see, what is my mystery
But with the timing right
It could be paradise
To do this now
Would not be right
I was just fine, yes I was fine I thought
I didn’t think that I would get so lost
To have and not to hold and to pretend I’m cold
It is a lie because I melt every time
And with the timing right
It could be paradise
To do this now
Would not be right
So stay away from me
You’re better off to stay as far from lovin' me
Just stay a fantasy
In the dark, in the night and in my dreams
And with the timing right
It could be paradise
To do this now
Would not be right
So stay away from me
Stay away from me
So stay away from me
You're better off to stay as far from lovin' me
Just stay a fantasy
In the dark, in the night and in my dreams
So stay away from me
You're better off to stay as far from lovin' me
So stay a fantasy
In the dark, in the night and in my dreams
So stay away from me
You're better off to stay as far from lovin' me
Just stay a fantasy
In the dark, in the night
In the dark, in the night
and in my dreams
Fantasy by Nadia Ali
I say goodbye to you, bc I can't deal with this rite now, is so hard for me just wondering If we can be together, wondering when is gonna be the day you'll decided if you want me in ur life.
U ask me to be friends, but how we can be friend with all the history behind us? Is gonna take me a while 'till I'll be able to look at you and left my feelings on the side, I need to find the lost pieces of myself, I'm broken, without nothing left. I'm standing in the dark while u having fun going out, meeting people, maybe one of those guys can give you what u want, I don't have any feelings for you rite now.
Every cell of my is dead inside my heart, ur ghost is haunting me every day, every fucking minute of the day, I'm so tired to live like this.
It doesen't matter what u say, can't believe in any of your words, u said that U care about me, but tell me how? U never call or text... so I'm giving up on you forever, is nothing left to try or rescue. I want to be able to be myself again, without thinking of u. Without you in my life is the only way to get to the other side.
I don't wanna get into details but rite now u are nothing for me, just a stranger who broke my heart twice in less than a year... goodbye P.
How do you always know what I will say?
You seem to know me in the clearest way
I want to run and hide, keep you from finding me
You shouldn’t see, what is my mystery
But with the timing right
It could be paradise
To do this now
Would not be right
I was just fine, yes I was fine I thought
I didn’t think that I would get so lost
To have and not to hold and to pretend I’m cold
It is a lie because I melt every time
And with the timing right
It could be paradise
To do this now
Would not be right
So stay away from me
You’re better off to stay as far from lovin' me
Just stay a fantasy
In the dark, in the night and in my dreams
And with the timing right
It could be paradise
To do this now
Would not be right
So stay away from me
Stay away from me
So stay away from me
You're better off to stay as far from lovin' me
Just stay a fantasy
In the dark, in the night and in my dreams
So stay away from me
You're better off to stay as far from lovin' me
So stay a fantasy
In the dark, in the night and in my dreams
So stay away from me
You're better off to stay as far from lovin' me
Just stay a fantasy
In the dark, in the night
In the dark, in the night
and in my dreams
Fantasy by Nadia Ali
9.3.10
RolLeRCoAsTEr
Going up and down
in this way to live
just taking the leap
to figure out where I'm
is taking me into the rain
the drops falling at my face
I'm feeling pain
electricity thru my veins
Finding the wishes
I had for long time
the simplicity of a dream
can I reach the unseen?
eloquence in this trip
never
just hanging here for a while
'till I'm back on time
hear my voice
even the air is taking it away
how I'm supposed to breath?
But like I heard
life is a rollercoaster
a parallel graphic in the universe
sometimes a monster
feeding from my soul
I seen
life like a rollercoaster
hit the break to stop the trial
let me jump thru the rain
where's the end?
life like a rollercoaster
Is me versus me
having to take this inner fight
figuring out what is real
so close too far
too far to be so close
Going south
is taking me down
I need to take control
over the emotions
to get thru the final leap
is the only way
hit the brake once again
the rain keeps falling
Life is a rollercoaster
a graphic novel in the universe
but became monster
leave my broken soul
I feel life like a rollercoaster
can I save myself from me?
life
roller-coaster
feeling
let this go
run
fly
roller-coaster
Going up and down
in this way to live
just taking the leap
to figure out where I'm
is taking me into the rain
the drops falling at my face
I'm feeling pain
electricity thru my veins
Finding the wishes
I had for long time
the simplicity of a dream
can I reach the unseen?
eloquence in this trip
never
just hanging here for a while
'till I'm back on time
hear my voice
even the air is taking it away
how I'm supposed to breath?
But like I heard
life is a rollercoaster
a parallel graphic in the universe
sometimes a monster
feeding from my soul
I seen
life like a rollercoaster
hit the break to stop the trial
let me jump thru the rain
where's the end?
life like a rollercoaster
Is me versus me
having to take this inner fight
figuring out what is real
so close too far
too far to be so close
Going south
is taking me down
I need to take control
over the emotions
to get thru the final leap
is the only way
hit the brake once again
the rain keeps falling
Life is a rollercoaster
a graphic novel in the universe
but became monster
leave my broken soul
I feel life like a rollercoaster
can I save myself from me?
life
roller-coaster
feeling
let this go
run
fly
roller-coaster
8.3.10
sUgAr sUbStiTuTioN
How hard is to find some cheap replacement for someone? So easy also so destructive, that;s why I've decided to erase my profile from MH, I was lying to myself trying to find something unreal and completely meaningless... I don't really want that, I don't need that... is gonna hurt me even more.
I want time to heal, time to think what do I really want to do with my heart. I promise myself to don't let anyone hurt me again but P did really bad, so is gonna take me a while to trust in someone or even going out in a date. My body is gonna ask for sex (so sure on that) maybe in that case I will think about being with someone just for that(I will think about it really hard).
So this is my way to calm down...
How hard is to find some cheap replacement for someone? So easy also so destructive, that;s why I've decided to erase my profile from MH, I was lying to myself trying to find something unreal and completely meaningless... I don't really want that, I don't need that... is gonna hurt me even more.
I want time to heal, time to think what do I really want to do with my heart. I promise myself to don't let anyone hurt me again but P did really bad, so is gonna take me a while to trust in someone or even going out in a date. My body is gonna ask for sex (so sure on that) maybe in that case I will think about being with someone just for that(I will think about it really hard).
So this is my way to calm down...
6.3.10
AnotHer NiTe, AnoTher dReaM(buT iS alWayS yoU)
Another nite... U were there wanting more from me, but what I'm supposed to do? pretending that everything is fine, It was weird feeling your arms around me, I was dying a couple days before to have them, but now I don't know you anymore!!!! U were drunk, telling me is the only thing that U can do to avoid the problems, seeing you all fucked up it hurts like hell. U keep blaming me for the past, like I said "If U wanna live your life like that, go ahead I refuse to keep doing this", Then just let me go, stop dragging me to your hole... set me free, if that means forgetting about me; my number, my email, my fb, everything, it doesn't really matter everything is dying inside, Stay away from me, I'm getting sick of this game, one day u need me and wanna be with me and the next day I'm the worse person in the world! This is becoming crazy and a destructive relationship, even we aren't together.
Right now I dunno what to think about you, I've seeing so many faces of you... and is no one to buy... for how long are you going to punish me?, U really love me? how can I trust in ur actions? Why u don't wanna face the truth?, what is going on with you? Why u act in some way on front of the people when I'm not there and then U change completly when I'm there? U've been faking ur love?, why you doing this to me?
Who do you think you are to smash things in my face even u provoked a lot of 'em? give me a reason to keep holding on to this?...
My Sister gave me two options to fix this situation:
1.- Ask P, if wants to keep in touch is cool, but no feelings involved, is not fair for both talking about 'em. Be clear and respectful.
2.- Ask P to leave you alone for ever... it need to erase you completly, U need to do the same.
Basically those are the more reasonble options, I dunno wich one I can handle better. I'm a fucking mess rite now.... I can't be with you, but I can't be without you!
Si no puedo estar contigo
ya no puedo estar sin ti
cada vez se hace mas duro el ser feliz
Y me sigue rodeando
la sombra de ti
Y sigue rodeando por ahi
todas las palabras que dijimos
y los besos que nos dimos
como siempre hoy estoy pensando en ti
Sombra de ti By Shakira
Another nite... U were there wanting more from me, but what I'm supposed to do? pretending that everything is fine, It was weird feeling your arms around me, I was dying a couple days before to have them, but now I don't know you anymore!!!! U were drunk, telling me is the only thing that U can do to avoid the problems, seeing you all fucked up it hurts like hell. U keep blaming me for the past, like I said "If U wanna live your life like that, go ahead I refuse to keep doing this", Then just let me go, stop dragging me to your hole... set me free, if that means forgetting about me; my number, my email, my fb, everything, it doesn't really matter everything is dying inside, Stay away from me, I'm getting sick of this game, one day u need me and wanna be with me and the next day I'm the worse person in the world! This is becoming crazy and a destructive relationship, even we aren't together.
Right now I dunno what to think about you, I've seeing so many faces of you... and is no one to buy... for how long are you going to punish me?, U really love me? how can I trust in ur actions? Why u don't wanna face the truth?, what is going on with you? Why u act in some way on front of the people when I'm not there and then U change completly when I'm there? U've been faking ur love?, why you doing this to me?
Who do you think you are to smash things in my face even u provoked a lot of 'em? give me a reason to keep holding on to this?...
My Sister gave me two options to fix this situation:
1.- Ask P, if wants to keep in touch is cool, but no feelings involved, is not fair for both talking about 'em. Be clear and respectful.
2.- Ask P to leave you alone for ever... it need to erase you completly, U need to do the same.
Basically those are the more reasonble options, I dunno wich one I can handle better. I'm a fucking mess rite now.... I can't be with you, but I can't be without you!
Si no puedo estar contigo
ya no puedo estar sin ti
cada vez se hace mas duro el ser feliz
Y me sigue rodeando
la sombra de ti
Y sigue rodeando por ahi
todas las palabras que dijimos
y los besos que nos dimos
como siempre hoy estoy pensando en ti
Sombra de ti By Shakira
4.3.10
2.3.10
HoW?.... wHy mE?
I'm getting back to basics, like five years ago, rediscovering myself in the single side... It has been a long time since the last time I was single for a more than 2 months. This happen to me around 3 years ago. After all this time, dating, having relationships, some good experiences and really bad experiences. But at the end(this point) I'm strong enough to be by myself, enjoying my freedom, doing whatever I wanna do without any worry about hurting who ever was with me... Is not a easy feeling to develop, some days still struggling with it.
I miss P like crazy but It doesn't hurt like before... learning how to deal with all this without affecting myself in the process.
Freedom vs love, who is gonna WIN?
I'm getting back to basics, like five years ago, rediscovering myself in the single side... It has been a long time since the last time I was single for a more than 2 months. This happen to me around 3 years ago. After all this time, dating, having relationships, some good experiences and really bad experiences. But at the end(this point) I'm strong enough to be by myself, enjoying my freedom, doing whatever I wanna do without any worry about hurting who ever was with me... Is not a easy feeling to develop, some days still struggling with it.
I miss P like crazy but It doesn't hurt like before... learning how to deal with all this without affecting myself in the process.
Freedom vs love, who is gonna WIN?
1.3.10
My CaR!!! mY LiFe(rEconEcTinG)
I'm getting sick of my car every time is something different, I gues it wasn't a good idea change the engine, now is acting worse.... It won't start rite away, then is shaking all the time, what else can happen to me with that car?
Btw yesterday I wento to Karyna's to get the movie from the XV, well I left the keys inside the car, so fucked up!!! NEgro and Hector tried to open it but even they'are cheap gansters they didn't.... Anyway Lucio was the MAN who opens my car, was awesome.... Even Sam and DD went to gave the extra set of keys but either one worked... Also I had flat tired on saturday.... I need a "limpia" for real with my car....
After two year I talked to my mom, was so cool, almost made me cry, but I don't want tears on my life anymore, I'd faced that demon that was haunting me for so long... like my aunt told me " They dont going to change, u are the only one who's gonna do it, so accept them the way they are, is all you can do" I didn't bring the past bc nothing gonna change it, if we start fresh is gonna be great. She was so happy to hear me, I gave to her a lil "resumen" about my life the last 2 years and that I need more contact with my family to heal those wounds, I have to admit I've been needing my mom all this time, we don't agre in too much things but we have to respect each other. I want to be happy with myself and the people who cares about me... I dont need a relationship to be complete. I'm so happy today with my life..
Trapped in the rhythm of life
Nothing seems to color my path
I’m in a web of confusion
Chasing my own tail... round... and round
I need to push away this madness
I gotta find the way out
With all my dreams and illusions
Waiting just to break out and fly...
I see what’s waiting for me
On the other side
It’s time to follow
All the passion in my heart
I’m standing on the sun with
Nothing else to hide
I’m ready,
Finally I see the other side
There is no more room for darkness
Allow the light to come in
You have to fight all the shadows
You gotta break out and fight
I heard it over and over
If you get caught up in the feeling again
With all your dreams and illusions
There is no reason to stop.
I see what’s waiting for me
On the other side
It’s time to follow
All the passion in my heart
I’m standing on the sun with
Nothing else to hide
I’m ready...
Finally I see the other side
The Other Side by Fey
I'm getting sick of my car every time is something different, I gues it wasn't a good idea change the engine, now is acting worse.... It won't start rite away, then is shaking all the time, what else can happen to me with that car?
Btw yesterday I wento to Karyna's to get the movie from the XV, well I left the keys inside the car, so fucked up!!! NEgro and Hector tried to open it but even they'are cheap gansters they didn't.... Anyway Lucio was the MAN who opens my car, was awesome.... Even Sam and DD went to gave the extra set of keys but either one worked... Also I had flat tired on saturday.... I need a "limpia" for real with my car....
After two year I talked to my mom, was so cool, almost made me cry, but I don't want tears on my life anymore, I'd faced that demon that was haunting me for so long... like my aunt told me " They dont going to change, u are the only one who's gonna do it, so accept them the way they are, is all you can do" I didn't bring the past bc nothing gonna change it, if we start fresh is gonna be great. She was so happy to hear me, I gave to her a lil "resumen" about my life the last 2 years and that I need more contact with my family to heal those wounds, I have to admit I've been needing my mom all this time, we don't agre in too much things but we have to respect each other. I want to be happy with myself and the people who cares about me... I dont need a relationship to be complete. I'm so happy today with my life..
Trapped in the rhythm of life
Nothing seems to color my path
I’m in a web of confusion
Chasing my own tail... round... and round
I need to push away this madness
I gotta find the way out
With all my dreams and illusions
Waiting just to break out and fly...
I see what’s waiting for me
On the other side
It’s time to follow
All the passion in my heart
I’m standing on the sun with
Nothing else to hide
I’m ready,
Finally I see the other side
There is no more room for darkness
Allow the light to come in
You have to fight all the shadows
You gotta break out and fight
I heard it over and over
If you get caught up in the feeling again
With all your dreams and illusions
There is no reason to stop.
I see what’s waiting for me
On the other side
It’s time to follow
All the passion in my heart
I’m standing on the sun with
Nothing else to hide
I’m ready...
Finally I see the other side
The Other Side by Fey
27.2.10
It Don'T maTtEr
Taking one step at the time
watching the hours going by
breathing the thick air around
suddenly I seen myself in the dark
once again is because you pulling me back
something echoes your words
You don't trust in me
but how I can trust in you?
The next step maybe is wait
watching you running side to side
tapping my feelings into your heart
for how long I have to be here?
casting a spell perhaps
walking in circles for quite some time
catching the dreams in the stairs
whether is wrong or right
how can I tell you
how much you mean for me
If you don't wanna hear
After a while
I will need to step ahead
taking a jump between limbo and paradise
what's the name of that place?
you said to me one day
I will love you no matter what
can you say it now
Getting closer to the exit
so much hours I've been wishing
the exact moment when you will find me
the picture in my head seems so different
it don't matter now
because you and I
we are touching the sky.
Your arms will be around
my soul has been missing you
look at me and say
we gonna be together
'till the end of time
One last step to take
erasing memories from ourselves
maybe we can trust in this feeling
with no fear...
it don't matter how long it takes
but seems this fairy tale it has a happy end.
A song inspired by You...
Taking one step at the time
watching the hours going by
breathing the thick air around
suddenly I seen myself in the dark
once again is because you pulling me back
something echoes your words
You don't trust in me
but how I can trust in you?
The next step maybe is wait
watching you running side to side
tapping my feelings into your heart
for how long I have to be here?
casting a spell perhaps
walking in circles for quite some time
catching the dreams in the stairs
whether is wrong or right
how can I tell you
how much you mean for me
If you don't wanna hear
After a while
I will need to step ahead
taking a jump between limbo and paradise
what's the name of that place?
you said to me one day
I will love you no matter what
can you say it now
Getting closer to the exit
so much hours I've been wishing
the exact moment when you will find me
the picture in my head seems so different
it don't matter now
because you and I
we are touching the sky.
Your arms will be around
my soul has been missing you
look at me and say
we gonna be together
'till the end of time
One last step to take
erasing memories from ourselves
maybe we can trust in this feeling
with no fear...
it don't matter how long it takes
but seems this fairy tale it has a happy end.
A song inspired by You...
BaCk AgIan wHeRe AlL bEgUn
I'm again in these four walls but it doesn't feel like dying, my madness is no t mad like I'd thought it would be. I told people what happen between U and I, they were surprised for my reaction, being so calm and cool with ur decision.
Yesterday I wanted to hang out with Alex, but sometimes his comments are so inappropriate, driving me nuts. Alsi his gf broke up with him, he's down like every other day, honestly I'm a lil down too so if we do the math: his pain + mine = depression and disaster. Today I will continue with my history(Darkest Dream) hopefully I will write at least 2 more chapters.
So everything falls into place... Is weird how my heart and mind are synchronized this time, both are telling me to let go and keep going, that's what I call "The perfect song".
Anyway I will love you but I dont need you.
I'm again in these four walls but it doesn't feel like dying, my madness is no t mad like I'd thought it would be. I told people what happen between U and I, they were surprised for my reaction, being so calm and cool with ur decision.
Yesterday I wanted to hang out with Alex, but sometimes his comments are so inappropriate, driving me nuts. Alsi his gf broke up with him, he's down like every other day, honestly I'm a lil down too so if we do the math: his pain + mine = depression and disaster. Today I will continue with my history(Darkest Dream) hopefully I will write at least 2 more chapters.
So everything falls into place... Is weird how my heart and mind are synchronized this time, both are telling me to let go and keep going, that's what I call "The perfect song".
Anyway I will love you but I dont need you.
26.2.10
KnOwinG... tAkinG tHe riSk
Part of me it knew we gonna end like this again, this time a lil bit different, I'm not crying, bc my heart was prepare for this, since the first day we've back together I'd felt u were hiding something, also something was pulling you back... avoiding the "we are together again" conversation. At least it took you less than 2 weeks to tell me truth about what u feeling. I'm not mad, actually I don't have any feelings rite now but my love for you.
I bet my wings for your heart, but we don't trust each other @ all. U don't believe in my word, I don't believe in ur actions. So is not much what we can do.
U were crying and crying, bc u need to find ur inner peace, u are so messed up at the moment, leave the fears on the side, take the risk(if you want) to find real love, maybe with me, with someone else, but as long u are happy I'll be happy for you.
You said U are a disappointment, I said NO U AREN'T, then u said wait a couple days and U'll see. Well I'm not disappoint because I knew this gonna happen, the fairy tale has an end, for you and I; is being apart. You are young, u don't wanna face the problems one by one, everything spin around in your crazy head, like I told you: U need to separate everything and solve every problem separately. But I need to keep going without you, I'm not a waiter, I don't want another relationship, rite now I need to be alone again, but I will not put myself in the bucket again, it took me a month to get out. Already learn how to live my life without you.
I'd promise you I will give you time, take all that u need, that's what u need, but time is the thing I don't have(U know why). No emails, no text, no phone calls, I will do that bc I love you, that never gonna change, no matter where I'm. U'd make me believe in love again, but U have to grow up and deal with ur demons, I can't be with you being like this, just wondering every day.
I took the risk to be with you, I don't regret it but I wish I didn't.... but is late now the hours are passing by telling me to run... that's my demon rite now
If you ask me, I will say it
You make me smile, it's contagious
And in your eyes, I can see it
Cause your heart is the greatest
[Chorus :]
I can't be without you
So don't go anywhere
You show me love like no one else
Has done yet
And with the road ahead
This is the beginning
Of this love story
Of this love story
[Verse 2:]
When I'm with you, I am taken
With the feeling that you've been chosen
What a longing, it's the best thing
In a long time I'm not broken
And I can't be without you
So don't go anywhere
You show me love like no one else
Has done yet
And with the road ahead
This is the beginning
Of this love story
Of this love story
Love Story by Nadia Ali
Part of me it knew we gonna end like this again, this time a lil bit different, I'm not crying, bc my heart was prepare for this, since the first day we've back together I'd felt u were hiding something, also something was pulling you back... avoiding the "we are together again" conversation. At least it took you less than 2 weeks to tell me truth about what u feeling. I'm not mad, actually I don't have any feelings rite now but my love for you.
I bet my wings for your heart, but we don't trust each other @ all. U don't believe in my word, I don't believe in ur actions. So is not much what we can do.
U were crying and crying, bc u need to find ur inner peace, u are so messed up at the moment, leave the fears on the side, take the risk(if you want) to find real love, maybe with me, with someone else, but as long u are happy I'll be happy for you.
You said U are a disappointment, I said NO U AREN'T, then u said wait a couple days and U'll see. Well I'm not disappoint because I knew this gonna happen, the fairy tale has an end, for you and I; is being apart. You are young, u don't wanna face the problems one by one, everything spin around in your crazy head, like I told you: U need to separate everything and solve every problem separately. But I need to keep going without you, I'm not a waiter, I don't want another relationship, rite now I need to be alone again, but I will not put myself in the bucket again, it took me a month to get out. Already learn how to live my life without you.
I'd promise you I will give you time, take all that u need, that's what u need, but time is the thing I don't have(U know why). No emails, no text, no phone calls, I will do that bc I love you, that never gonna change, no matter where I'm. U'd make me believe in love again, but U have to grow up and deal with ur demons, I can't be with you being like this, just wondering every day.
I took the risk to be with you, I don't regret it but I wish I didn't.... but is late now the hours are passing by telling me to run... that's my demon rite now
If you ask me, I will say it
You make me smile, it's contagious
And in your eyes, I can see it
Cause your heart is the greatest
[Chorus :]
I can't be without you
So don't go anywhere
You show me love like no one else
Has done yet
And with the road ahead
This is the beginning
Of this love story
Of this love story
[Verse 2:]
When I'm with you, I am taken
With the feeling that you've been chosen
What a longing, it's the best thing
In a long time I'm not broken
And I can't be without you
So don't go anywhere
You show me love like no one else
Has done yet
And with the road ahead
This is the beginning
Of this love story
Of this love story
Love Story by Nadia Ali
17.2.10
sO hAppY, sO sCaRe
Im so happy to be with you again, after the month of hell, finally everything back to place, I hope this time for long... I love you can't deny, otherwise I don't have nothing to lose again.... Is gonna be a hard work for both... we are trying everyday to get better, trusting each other.
Saturday was a great day for me, I was with my family, celebrating Sam's bday...so awesome, my aunt was talking to me again after 3 weeks... so everything was running smooth.
But back to basiscs. A long email was writen for me to you, without any expectations I sent it to you, it took me 2 hours to write it down, was clear, direct, honest, showing the real me, like you said: " The Gyo who wrote that, is the one that I love", then I was reading ur answer, the u called me, my heart was beating so fast,the love ran thru my veins when I'd heard ur voice. U were crying, I was so calm. Then u said: "I'm sorry to let you go, u are the one that I love, can't be without you anymore, this month it has been a hell". Since that moment I knew we can try it again, even I don't believe in second chances, let's not run away this time. I wanna show you how big is my love for you, learning from all the mistake I've made, like I said before: " I can't do anything to change the past, but I'm so able and willing to give you a better present".
After dinner, after the club(was awesome btw), wanted to see you... so that's why I was @ ur door @ 3 am just to kiss you and feel ur sweet touch...
FORWARD>>>>>
Valentine's Day
I was so exited to see you again and celebrate V day, with you, so we had a romantic date(not like I'd plan) but we were together. Movie and dinner was the plan but the Movie was great Percy Jackson and the Olympians, like child enjoying the presentation. U are my sexy beast my fave dark chocolate, my addiction... I love you... so we keep it real.
I see we gonna make it ROCK'S.....
btw with Scare I mean, scare to loose you again but my fears are behind...
I find the map and draw a straight line
Over rivers, farms, and state lines
The distance from 'A' to where you'd be
It's only finger-lengths Jobby that I see
I touch the place where I'd find your face
My finger in creases of distant dark places
I hang my coat up in the first bar
There is no peace that I've found so far
The laughter penetrates my silence
As drunken men find flaws in science
Their words mostly noises
Ghosts with just voices
Your words in my memory
Are like music to me
I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms
After I have travelled so far
We'd set the fire to the third bar
We'd share each other like an island
Until exhausted, close our eyelids
And dreaming, pick up from
The last place we left off
Your soft skin is weeping
A joy you can't keep in
I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
And I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms
I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
and I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms
Set the fire to the third bar by Snow Patrol.
Im so happy to be with you again, after the month of hell, finally everything back to place, I hope this time for long... I love you can't deny, otherwise I don't have nothing to lose again.... Is gonna be a hard work for both... we are trying everyday to get better, trusting each other.
Saturday was a great day for me, I was with my family, celebrating Sam's bday...so awesome, my aunt was talking to me again after 3 weeks... so everything was running smooth.
But back to basiscs. A long email was writen for me to you, without any expectations I sent it to you, it took me 2 hours to write it down, was clear, direct, honest, showing the real me, like you said: " The Gyo who wrote that, is the one that I love", then I was reading ur answer, the u called me, my heart was beating so fast,the love ran thru my veins when I'd heard ur voice. U were crying, I was so calm. Then u said: "I'm sorry to let you go, u are the one that I love, can't be without you anymore, this month it has been a hell". Since that moment I knew we can try it again, even I don't believe in second chances, let's not run away this time. I wanna show you how big is my love for you, learning from all the mistake I've made, like I said before: " I can't do anything to change the past, but I'm so able and willing to give you a better present".
After dinner, after the club(was awesome btw), wanted to see you... so that's why I was @ ur door @ 3 am just to kiss you and feel ur sweet touch...
FORWARD>>>>>
Valentine's Day
I was so exited to see you again and celebrate V day, with you, so we had a romantic date(not like I'd plan) but we were together. Movie and dinner was the plan but the Movie was great Percy Jackson and the Olympians, like child enjoying the presentation. U are my sexy beast my fave dark chocolate, my addiction... I love you... so we keep it real.
I see we gonna make it ROCK'S.....
btw with Scare I mean, scare to loose you again but my fears are behind...
I find the map and draw a straight line
Over rivers, farms, and state lines
The distance from 'A' to where you'd be
It's only finger-lengths Jobby that I see
I touch the place where I'd find your face
My finger in creases of distant dark places
I hang my coat up in the first bar
There is no peace that I've found so far
The laughter penetrates my silence
As drunken men find flaws in science
Their words mostly noises
Ghosts with just voices
Your words in my memory
Are like music to me
I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms
After I have travelled so far
We'd set the fire to the third bar
We'd share each other like an island
Until exhausted, close our eyelids
And dreaming, pick up from
The last place we left off
Your soft skin is weeping
A joy you can't keep in
I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
And I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms
I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
and I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms
Set the fire to the third bar by Snow Patrol.
10.2.10
BaCk in ThE rOad...AgaIn?
Yes, hardly to admit, well not that hard, heehaw. I have a new profile in the sex website, nothing really change these last 4 weeks, same people thinking they're the last coke in the desert. I'm hunting my next victim, still don't believe in love, don't need that is just waste of time, energy, money, feelings so forget it.
I was online for a while but I've got bored after an hour or two, nothing really interesting. Guessing I'm healing now...after Saturday drama, realized that is no reason to stop breathing for you. I love you, but should be crazy to back with you, nothing is gonna change. Last nite you saw me "haunting" then U send me an email, u contradict yourself, u want me but u don't want to spend time with me, U are tired to people talking to you but U still getting online!!! you love me but you want ur freedom, U already have it, what else do you want from me? I'm not that stupid to understand ur game so, I'd set you free... doesn't really matter. I don't want you in a cage, that's how you felt all this time, is so sad, u have the goats to blame me for this. Like you didn't anything wrong, it was ur turn enjoy it cuz we don't know how long is gonna last. I guess being a couple means just u and I, but I see you have a different idea about. I don't need an open relationship, that's stupid for me, we are in, or ,we are out of the relationship. Is that simple.
This is getting clear...so it doesn't hurt like I'd thought. I don't even reply ur email is nothing left, so tell me what's the point to start from scratch like you said, if we love each other but we can't be together, is not ZERO in this... so let this die with the nite. Is already dead.
Goodbye P.
Staying here for you
not held been I was crying
something asking not to do
thru my whole life
What did I ever listen
to your promises
When nothing changing
you and all the lies you said
These I leave all uses
nothing but the same
face the truth
you can't control my faith
No more lies
is painful to me
but I'm free at last
No more lies
no fear, no silence
now part of the past
Seems like that all your words
fear, has come crushing down
is seeking me to see
how little you are now
I'd never find myself
standing again right here
where I couldn't breath
before goes now I have no fear
Uh you take the pain
you'd gave when I was there
I doubt you have the strange to spare
Never again
will I be there like I was there for you before
now nothing is the same
cuz gone is the pain
not care with the blame
cuz gone is the pain
No More Lies By Fey
Yes, hardly to admit, well not that hard, heehaw. I have a new profile in the sex website, nothing really change these last 4 weeks, same people thinking they're the last coke in the desert. I'm hunting my next victim, still don't believe in love, don't need that is just waste of time, energy, money, feelings so forget it.
I was online for a while but I've got bored after an hour or two, nothing really interesting. Guessing I'm healing now...after Saturday drama, realized that is no reason to stop breathing for you. I love you, but should be crazy to back with you, nothing is gonna change. Last nite you saw me "haunting" then U send me an email, u contradict yourself, u want me but u don't want to spend time with me, U are tired to people talking to you but U still getting online!!! you love me but you want ur freedom, U already have it, what else do you want from me? I'm not that stupid to understand ur game so, I'd set you free... doesn't really matter. I don't want you in a cage, that's how you felt all this time, is so sad, u have the goats to blame me for this. Like you didn't anything wrong, it was ur turn enjoy it cuz we don't know how long is gonna last. I guess being a couple means just u and I, but I see you have a different idea about. I don't need an open relationship, that's stupid for me, we are in, or ,we are out of the relationship. Is that simple.
This is getting clear...so it doesn't hurt like I'd thought. I don't even reply ur email is nothing left, so tell me what's the point to start from scratch like you said, if we love each other but we can't be together, is not ZERO in this... so let this die with the nite. Is already dead.
Goodbye P.
Staying here for you
not held been I was crying
something asking not to do
thru my whole life
What did I ever listen
to your promises
When nothing changing
you and all the lies you said
These I leave all uses
nothing but the same
face the truth
you can't control my faith
No more lies
is painful to me
but I'm free at last
No more lies
no fear, no silence
now part of the past
Seems like that all your words
fear, has come crushing down
is seeking me to see
how little you are now
I'd never find myself
standing again right here
where I couldn't breath
before goes now I have no fear
Uh you take the pain
you'd gave when I was there
I doubt you have the strange to spare
Never again
will I be there like I was there for you before
now nothing is the same
cuz gone is the pain
not care with the blame
cuz gone is the pain
No More Lies By Fey
9.2.10
ThE kEy
I'm done waiting for you
breaking the chains
that used to tide my hands
now and then
my feelings still there
but I'm walking away
is no need to stop
breathing for you
Seeing you
was the key to unlock the door
your voice disappears
from my soul
I don't need you anymore
even want you anymore
You've got your freedom
have a lot of fun
fool someone else
with your fake monogamy
maybe they will
buy your tears
I was so afraid
to my fears
constant shame
to express myself
You've got me for a while
like borrow time
U said I need time to heal
wait for me
Why should I?
My love is big
but is bigger for myself
I'd never wanted to
share your bed
be free
just stay away from me
How can you send me a love song?
If you are looking for
take it back
I don't want it
I will find my peace
someday and somehow
but so far
I'm done waiting for you
the chains are broken
and my love too
I'm done waiting for you
This is my way to say goodbye to P, this what I'm feeling so is better end this agony taking you out off my life. Actually I didn't care u were in the same website, just some anger came to my mind bur after that I'm done with you.
I'm done waiting for you
breaking the chains
that used to tide my hands
now and then
my feelings still there
but I'm walking away
is no need to stop
breathing for you
Seeing you
was the key to unlock the door
your voice disappears
from my soul
I don't need you anymore
even want you anymore
You've got your freedom
have a lot of fun
fool someone else
with your fake monogamy
maybe they will
buy your tears
I was so afraid
to my fears
constant shame
to express myself
You've got me for a while
like borrow time
U said I need time to heal
wait for me
Why should I?
My love is big
but is bigger for myself
I'd never wanted to
share your bed
be free
just stay away from me
How can you send me a love song?
If you are looking for
take it back
I don't want it
I will find my peace
someday and somehow
but so far
I'm done waiting for you
the chains are broken
and my love too
I'm done waiting for you
This is my way to say goodbye to P, this what I'm feeling so is better end this agony taking you out off my life. Actually I didn't care u were in the same website, just some anger came to my mind bur after that I'm done with you.
8.2.10
7.2.10
AfteR 3 wEeKs
After 3 weeks I'd found you in the club, u were wearing that horrible boots, that hideous tee too. Ur hair is darker.
I wasn't sure to going out but I'd decided to take the risk, leaving the "bitter" that became in my house, so was around 1:15 am when I saw you walking downstairs, my heart start to beat faster, you got lost in the crowd... u disappear...Minutes passed thru my life and one more time u are there steering @ me, my eyes were in yours but this fairy tale is over. My first reaction was run to you, hold you, kiss you... then sadness, then anger, then two thousand feelings were spinning around inside my heart and my mind. Can control them, doing my best but on the dance floor I was looking for you.... u aren't there... my hopes are leaving my soul. Dancing, pretending that I didn't see you. The moment to left the club got to me. Picking up my blue jacket having the desire to run away from you...surprise, surprise u were outside talking to some "strangers" (I want it to think that) passing right next to you, I'd hear you saying something about me, after that second I'd start to walk faster 'till I'm running. I was so angry with myself, angry with you... playing these four walls, kinda stooping on front of you, but like I knew it you don't even looked at me, just wanted to fly with my car, going away. I'm so desperate know, I'm sweating now, moving slow. Driving so fast(something inside my head told me "you have to calm down this is no you")the stoplight is there. Taking my phone dialing Maria's number, bc I needed someone to calm down this madness, luckily she did helped me out.. saying all my feelings and making the mistake to send you a email saying:
Can you tell me my heart it needs stop loving you.... or just take my feelings away... When I saw you just wanted to hold you and kiss you, I know is stupid keeping like this but dunno what to do. I know u don't gonna answer this but at least i say this to the rite person.
I'm feeling like shit now, the pills are hitting me, so I will try to get some rest, hoping when I wake up my day gets better and less painful.
Entre el cielo y suelo hay algo
con tendencia a quedarse calvo
de tanto recordar
y ese algo que soy yo mismo
es un cuadro de bifrontismo que
solo da una faz
la cara vista es un anuncio de Signal
la cara oculta es la resulta
de mi idea genial de echarte
me cuesta tanto olvidarte
me cuesta tanto olvidarte
me cuesta tanto
olvidar quince mil encantos
es mucha sensatez
y no se si sere sensato
lo que se es que me cuesta un rato
hacer cosas sin querer
y aunque fui yo quien decidio que ya no mas
y no me canse de jurarte que no habra
segunda parte
me cuesta tanto olvidarte
me cuesta tanto olvidarte
me cuesta tanto
Me cuesta tanto Olvidarte by Fey
After 3 weeks I'd found you in the club, u were wearing that horrible boots, that hideous tee too. Ur hair is darker.
I wasn't sure to going out but I'd decided to take the risk, leaving the "bitter" that became in my house, so was around 1:15 am when I saw you walking downstairs, my heart start to beat faster, you got lost in the crowd... u disappear...Minutes passed thru my life and one more time u are there steering @ me, my eyes were in yours but this fairy tale is over. My first reaction was run to you, hold you, kiss you... then sadness, then anger, then two thousand feelings were spinning around inside my heart and my mind. Can control them, doing my best but on the dance floor I was looking for you.... u aren't there... my hopes are leaving my soul. Dancing, pretending that I didn't see you. The moment to left the club got to me. Picking up my blue jacket having the desire to run away from you...surprise, surprise u were outside talking to some "strangers" (I want it to think that) passing right next to you, I'd hear you saying something about me, after that second I'd start to walk faster 'till I'm running. I was so angry with myself, angry with you... playing these four walls, kinda stooping on front of you, but like I knew it you don't even looked at me, just wanted to fly with my car, going away. I'm so desperate know, I'm sweating now, moving slow. Driving so fast(something inside my head told me "you have to calm down this is no you")the stoplight is there. Taking my phone dialing Maria's number, bc I needed someone to calm down this madness, luckily she did helped me out.. saying all my feelings and making the mistake to send you a email saying:
Can you tell me my heart it needs stop loving you.... or just take my feelings away... When I saw you just wanted to hold you and kiss you, I know is stupid keeping like this but dunno what to do. I know u don't gonna answer this but at least i say this to the rite person.
I'm feeling like shit now, the pills are hitting me, so I will try to get some rest, hoping when I wake up my day gets better and less painful.
Entre el cielo y suelo hay algo
con tendencia a quedarse calvo
de tanto recordar
y ese algo que soy yo mismo
es un cuadro de bifrontismo que
solo da una faz
la cara vista es un anuncio de Signal
la cara oculta es la resulta
de mi idea genial de echarte
me cuesta tanto olvidarte
me cuesta tanto olvidarte
me cuesta tanto
olvidar quince mil encantos
es mucha sensatez
y no se si sere sensato
lo que se es que me cuesta un rato
hacer cosas sin querer
y aunque fui yo quien decidio que ya no mas
y no me canse de jurarte que no habra
segunda parte
me cuesta tanto olvidarte
me cuesta tanto olvidarte
me cuesta tanto
Me cuesta tanto Olvidarte by Fey
6.2.10
bItTeR EnD
How I'd ended like this,I'm becoming so "bitter", can find the meaning of adventure anymore, maybe is for my emotional stats. I used to take the risk to go in adventures (can be club, trips) but not anymore, like yesterday kinda wanted to go out, I was excited about it. Suddenly everything went down!!! Rigo says "he is getting older", I say "I'm getting bitter" so two opinion taking us to the same direction; where's the adventured @? We don't know.
Analyzing myself, realizing the position am I now is far away from yesterday, bc I'm not who I used to be. I'm writing more and expressing myself more lately, maybe is the only way that I will redeem myself for everything I've done and P did to me. There's so many feeling that I'm trying to get back, the illusion of tomorrow, the sparkle when something is magical, how to burst my bubble but keeping the strange world the one that I belong mixed with the real world. No matter how hard the stars are trying to shine on me, is not time for me, like I said before I'm in "stand by mode". Most of my time I'd spend is alone in my room, just the computer, Charmed and Bayonetta keeping company.
What can I do? How long this gonna last? I'll be able to take another path? I'm blind in my future? Is something left for me?
Wow so many question... answer that gonna take me a while to figured 'em out.
I feel like I'm
A million miles away
From myself
More and more these days
I've been down
So many open roads
But they never lead me home
And now i just don't know
Who i really am
How it's gonna be
Is there something that I can't see
I wanna understand
Maybe I will never be
Who I was before
Maybe I don't know me anymore
Maybe who I am today
Ain't so far from yesterday
Can I find a way to be
Every part of me
So I'll try
Try to sort things out
And find myself
Get my feet back on the ground
It'll take time
But I know I'll be alright
Cuz nothing much has changed
On the inside
It's hard to figure out
How it's gonna be
Cuz I don't really know now
I wanna understand
Chorus
I don't wanna wait too long
To find out where I'm meant to belong
I've always wanted to be where I am today
But I never thought I'd feel this way
Every part of me by Miley Cyrus
How I'd ended like this,I'm becoming so "bitter", can find the meaning of adventure anymore, maybe is for my emotional stats. I used to take the risk to go in adventures (can be club, trips) but not anymore, like yesterday kinda wanted to go out, I was excited about it. Suddenly everything went down!!! Rigo says "he is getting older", I say "I'm getting bitter" so two opinion taking us to the same direction; where's the adventured @? We don't know.
Analyzing myself, realizing the position am I now is far away from yesterday, bc I'm not who I used to be. I'm writing more and expressing myself more lately, maybe is the only way that I will redeem myself for everything I've done and P did to me. There's so many feeling that I'm trying to get back, the illusion of tomorrow, the sparkle when something is magical, how to burst my bubble but keeping the strange world the one that I belong mixed with the real world. No matter how hard the stars are trying to shine on me, is not time for me, like I said before I'm in "stand by mode". Most of my time I'd spend is alone in my room, just the computer, Charmed and Bayonetta keeping company.
What can I do? How long this gonna last? I'll be able to take another path? I'm blind in my future? Is something left for me?
Wow so many question... answer that gonna take me a while to figured 'em out.
I feel like I'm
A million miles away
From myself
More and more these days
I've been down
So many open roads
But they never lead me home
And now i just don't know
Who i really am
How it's gonna be
Is there something that I can't see
I wanna understand
Maybe I will never be
Who I was before
Maybe I don't know me anymore
Maybe who I am today
Ain't so far from yesterday
Can I find a way to be
Every part of me
So I'll try
Try to sort things out
And find myself
Get my feet back on the ground
It'll take time
But I know I'll be alright
Cuz nothing much has changed
On the inside
It's hard to figure out
How it's gonna be
Cuz I don't really know now
I wanna understand
Chorus
I don't wanna wait too long
To find out where I'm meant to belong
I've always wanted to be where I am today
But I never thought I'd feel this way
Every part of me by Miley Cyrus
4.2.10
UnDeniaBle
Even the time, even my head are telling me to forget you. But I can't u were all day long in my mind. In the morning i was listening These Four Walls, then Touch... i miss you...I wish can use my magic and turn back time.... it has been almost 3 weeks without you. Sometimes I dunno how!!!!
Even the time, even my head are telling me to forget you. But I can't u were all day long in my mind. In the morning i was listening These Four Walls, then Touch... i miss you...I wish can use my magic and turn back time.... it has been almost 3 weeks without you. Sometimes I dunno how!!!!
2.2.10
AftEr alL
I was talking to my sister about her relationship, after 10 years dating the same guy she just find out there's nothing left to save, everything has been discover about each other, they had a conversation this Saturday about their future, this mean living together.
Last week we'd talked about this, so I told her to think about it before take the decision, is hard to see the reality, but what u see is what u get. If is nothing that can be resolve when u still dating(relationship) is never gonna change, it become worse if you will seeing each other 24/7, so many things that can't stand about the way each other are, being under the same roof can ended in a disaster.
So after a lot of thinking, she said everything, he wasn't what she wanted and her wasn't what he needs. He was crying, well love hurts, She wanted to know if somebody else is in his mind or heart, he denied... but now the coin is in the air. He blame her, saying she was lying to him for long time pretending everything was fine but the truth she confessed was: I wasn't lying to you it was to avoid discussions also u never wanted to hear the truth you told me so many times "u are seeing things they aren't there", so we crossed the line from arguing to ignoring each other. So tell me what's the point to keep appearances? we aren't merried so I dont see point.
Then he asked what u need? is important to me to know and see if I can do it. So she answer his question: Can you stop the pain that I'm feeling now? can you change pain for joy? that's what I want and what I need.
Asking for one more chance to try, but is really worth it?, she is having so many doubts, but a month has given to see if the relationship can be rescued.
Not expectations about the next month, she knows and feels nothing is gonna chance, what can be different?, she recall the time when he found one of his co-workers a women to be exactly, he was so happy to see her again, this was the only time my sister made a big deal, why? bc for long time he didn't seem so excited to see my her, the emotion... so is a disappointment.
My personal opinion is whatever is broken sometimes has to stay broken, no matter how big is the love, people never change, just can pretend that everything is fine. Love sux. But who know maybe this movie will have a happy ending.
Tu y yo no estabamos tan mal
Teníamos algo real
Pero de pronto todo nos cambió
Solo sucedió
Yo pensé que esto iba a llegar
mucho más allá
Y desapareció, se fué sin avisar
Lo que hubo entre tu y yo
No quiere regresar
Y desapareció, ya no lo he visto más
Es tan extraño, que todo se quedó
Pero el amor no está
Y és que nadie puede adivinar
lo que quiere el corazón
Y mucho menos puede controlar
por evitar que pierda la ilusión
Yo pensé que esto iba a llegar
mucho más allá
Desaparecio by Rbd
I was talking to my sister about her relationship, after 10 years dating the same guy she just find out there's nothing left to save, everything has been discover about each other, they had a conversation this Saturday about their future, this mean living together.
Last week we'd talked about this, so I told her to think about it before take the decision, is hard to see the reality, but what u see is what u get. If is nothing that can be resolve when u still dating(relationship) is never gonna change, it become worse if you will seeing each other 24/7, so many things that can't stand about the way each other are, being under the same roof can ended in a disaster.
So after a lot of thinking, she said everything, he wasn't what she wanted and her wasn't what he needs. He was crying, well love hurts, She wanted to know if somebody else is in his mind or heart, he denied... but now the coin is in the air. He blame her, saying she was lying to him for long time pretending everything was fine but the truth she confessed was: I wasn't lying to you it was to avoid discussions also u never wanted to hear the truth you told me so many times "u are seeing things they aren't there", so we crossed the line from arguing to ignoring each other. So tell me what's the point to keep appearances? we aren't merried so I dont see point.
Then he asked what u need? is important to me to know and see if I can do it. So she answer his question: Can you stop the pain that I'm feeling now? can you change pain for joy? that's what I want and what I need.
Asking for one more chance to try, but is really worth it?, she is having so many doubts, but a month has given to see if the relationship can be rescued.
Not expectations about the next month, she knows and feels nothing is gonna chance, what can be different?, she recall the time when he found one of his co-workers a women to be exactly, he was so happy to see her again, this was the only time my sister made a big deal, why? bc for long time he didn't seem so excited to see my her, the emotion... so is a disappointment.
My personal opinion is whatever is broken sometimes has to stay broken, no matter how big is the love, people never change, just can pretend that everything is fine. Love sux. But who know maybe this movie will have a happy ending.
Tu y yo no estabamos tan mal
Teníamos algo real
Pero de pronto todo nos cambió
Solo sucedió
Yo pensé que esto iba a llegar
mucho más allá
Y desapareció, se fué sin avisar
Lo que hubo entre tu y yo
No quiere regresar
Y desapareció, ya no lo he visto más
Es tan extraño, que todo se quedó
Pero el amor no está
Y és que nadie puede adivinar
lo que quiere el corazón
Y mucho menos puede controlar
por evitar que pierda la ilusión
Yo pensé que esto iba a llegar
mucho más allá
Desaparecio by Rbd
1.2.10
wHat is TruE? whaT is Lie?
There's the mystery about my life, my reality is so xtream that some fantasy make it more easy to swallow for the others, but who can say what is true and what is lie, if we perceive the life in so many different ways, because we are different from each others. So u decide on what u believe...
Is like my love for P, some days is here and some days is not, like today, u were just for bit in my mind...
Alicia expulsada al pais de las maravillas
para Alicia hoy es siempre todavia..
Alicia dice que te quiere, cuando ya te ha abandonado..
Alicia by Enrique Bunbury
There's the mystery about my life, my reality is so xtream that some fantasy make it more easy to swallow for the others, but who can say what is true and what is lie, if we perceive the life in so many different ways, because we are different from each others. So u decide on what u believe...
Is like my love for P, some days is here and some days is not, like today, u were just for bit in my mind...
Alicia expulsada al pais de las maravillas
para Alicia hoy es siempre todavia..
Alicia dice que te quiere, cuando ya te ha abandonado..
Alicia by Enrique Bunbury
30.1.10
uNa vEz Mas
La chica k mire en la terraza me ha hecho acercar a ella, pasando entre los cuerpos k no dejan de bailar, las luces neon k en ciertos momentos me dejan ver los rostros transparentes de los demonios k cargan cada uno de mis deseos en ellos.
Me toma de la mano, llevandome a la puerta por la cual entre, no quiero regresar a la habitacion con el Cristo sangrante, pero sus manos han hipnotizado mi cuerpo, solo sigue sus deseos. La observo detenidamente ps todo se ha kedado estatico, el tiempo no existe, un viejo reloj avanza en retroceso.
Mis ojos estan clavados en su mirada, sus ojos azules k cambian a negro con la intensidad de la luz, cada paso me lleva mas cerca de la habitacion. Finalmente estamos cruzando la puerta... alaridos provienen de la obscuridad, puedo ver las manos del Cristo.
Ella me dice su nombre, susurrandolo a mi oido; Majandra, escalofrio recorre mi cuerpo... hace frio, puedo ver mi respiracion condensandose en el aire. Camino entre la obscuridad, Majandra ya no esta a mi lado... las luces neon han desaparecido detras de mi, aunque la puerta aun esta abierta, ningun sonido proviene del otro lado.
El silencio inunda mis sentidos, me he quedado sin olores por percibir. Siento un aliento en mi odio, intento atrapar la sombra en la obscuridad. Soy yo Majandra, te he traido aki por k tienes que cruzar el umbral, el cristo sangrante esta esperandote.
Intento correr pero vuelvo al mismo lugar, su voz es tan intensa como el palpitar de mi corazon, cierro los ojos para poder ver detras de la obscuridad, todo se ha vuelto neon una vez mas, siluetas que siguen bailando, la pasion y electricidad se vuelven purpura. El agua en la que bailan es tan clara que se puede ver el alma de cada silueta.
Mi cuerpo tiene movimiento una vez mas, comienzo a caminar sobre el agua pero cada vez que doy un paso retrocedo entre la multitud, me he quedado contemplando todo a mi alrededor, luces de colores brillantes, espigas destellantes, las siluetas estan tomando forma, se han transformado en humanos, k usan ropa blanca. Yo el unico vistiendo negro, camino entre los ahora humanos. Todo se detiene, el tiempo avanza lentamente pero yo me puedo mover a la velocidad normal. Majandra aparece frente a mi, toma mi mano una vez mas el tiempo se acelera cual velocidad de la luz, solo puedo ver luces moviendose tan rapido, no tienen forma, pero aun creo k son las siluetas.
Abro los ojos y estoy una vez mas en la habitacion con el cristo sangrante, el portico se ha cerrado.... me acerca a el intentando abrilo, pero no puedo; la voz de Majandra me dice "busca en tu bolsillo trasero", lo hago encontrando una llave oxidada, la saco de mi bolsillo, la inserto en la cerradura... el portico se abre.
No hay luces ni sonido alguna, cruzo hacia el otro lado... viento vuela mi cabello, es tan frio k me ha enchinado la piel... Puedo ver el cielo, doy un paso mas y la puerta ha desaparecido a mis espaldas, esto parece ser la parte alta de la iglesia.
Mi ropa ya no es la misma, se ha tornado blanca, estoy descalzo, doy un paso mas y siento un fuerte abrazo, tan calido y excitante, un dulce olor a muerte ha inundado mis fosas nasales, llevando la senal a mi cerebro
La chica k mire en la terraza me ha hecho acercar a ella, pasando entre los cuerpos k no dejan de bailar, las luces neon k en ciertos momentos me dejan ver los rostros transparentes de los demonios k cargan cada uno de mis deseos en ellos.
Me toma de la mano, llevandome a la puerta por la cual entre, no quiero regresar a la habitacion con el Cristo sangrante, pero sus manos han hipnotizado mi cuerpo, solo sigue sus deseos. La observo detenidamente ps todo se ha kedado estatico, el tiempo no existe, un viejo reloj avanza en retroceso.
Mis ojos estan clavados en su mirada, sus ojos azules k cambian a negro con la intensidad de la luz, cada paso me lleva mas cerca de la habitacion. Finalmente estamos cruzando la puerta... alaridos provienen de la obscuridad, puedo ver las manos del Cristo.
Ella me dice su nombre, susurrandolo a mi oido; Majandra, escalofrio recorre mi cuerpo... hace frio, puedo ver mi respiracion condensandose en el aire. Camino entre la obscuridad, Majandra ya no esta a mi lado... las luces neon han desaparecido detras de mi, aunque la puerta aun esta abierta, ningun sonido proviene del otro lado.
El silencio inunda mis sentidos, me he quedado sin olores por percibir. Siento un aliento en mi odio, intento atrapar la sombra en la obscuridad. Soy yo Majandra, te he traido aki por k tienes que cruzar el umbral, el cristo sangrante esta esperandote.
Intento correr pero vuelvo al mismo lugar, su voz es tan intensa como el palpitar de mi corazon, cierro los ojos para poder ver detras de la obscuridad, todo se ha vuelto neon una vez mas, siluetas que siguen bailando, la pasion y electricidad se vuelven purpura. El agua en la que bailan es tan clara que se puede ver el alma de cada silueta.
Mi cuerpo tiene movimiento una vez mas, comienzo a caminar sobre el agua pero cada vez que doy un paso retrocedo entre la multitud, me he quedado contemplando todo a mi alrededor, luces de colores brillantes, espigas destellantes, las siluetas estan tomando forma, se han transformado en humanos, k usan ropa blanca. Yo el unico vistiendo negro, camino entre los ahora humanos. Todo se detiene, el tiempo avanza lentamente pero yo me puedo mover a la velocidad normal. Majandra aparece frente a mi, toma mi mano una vez mas el tiempo se acelera cual velocidad de la luz, solo puedo ver luces moviendose tan rapido, no tienen forma, pero aun creo k son las siluetas.
Abro los ojos y estoy una vez mas en la habitacion con el cristo sangrante, el portico se ha cerrado.... me acerca a el intentando abrilo, pero no puedo; la voz de Majandra me dice "busca en tu bolsillo trasero", lo hago encontrando una llave oxidada, la saco de mi bolsillo, la inserto en la cerradura... el portico se abre.
No hay luces ni sonido alguna, cruzo hacia el otro lado... viento vuela mi cabello, es tan frio k me ha enchinado la piel... Puedo ver el cielo, doy un paso mas y la puerta ha desaparecido a mis espaldas, esto parece ser la parte alta de la iglesia.
Mi ropa ya no es la misma, se ha tornado blanca, estoy descalzo, doy un paso mas y siento un fuerte abrazo, tan calido y excitante, un dulce olor a muerte ha inundado mis fosas nasales, llevando la senal a mi cerebro
No Se DecirTE
No se como empezar
a decirte que estes junto a mi
dame momentos espaciados
entre nuestro inicio sin final
No se como dejar de extranarte
dejando un tal vez entre los dos
Si hay algo en mi
espero sea para ti
hay mucho por hacer entre los dos
ahora quizas no
solo te puedo dar un tal vez
No se como empezar
a decirte que te empiezo a querer
no senti que fuera yo
solo siento que eres tu
quien me ha hecho mover
Quiero tenerte cerca
tal vez esta noche
sea perfecta
No se como decirte
no se como empezar
solo se decirte, tal vez...
I wrote this song for S, when we were dating... wow is kinda hard to see how many times I had the chance to love and my ego was stronger... well now I know love hurts.
No se como empezar
a decirte que estes junto a mi
dame momentos espaciados
entre nuestro inicio sin final
No se como dejar de extranarte
dejando un tal vez entre los dos
Si hay algo en mi
espero sea para ti
hay mucho por hacer entre los dos
ahora quizas no
solo te puedo dar un tal vez
No se como empezar
a decirte que te empiezo a querer
no senti que fuera yo
solo siento que eres tu
quien me ha hecho mover
Quiero tenerte cerca
tal vez esta noche
sea perfecta
No se como decirte
no se como empezar
solo se decirte, tal vez...
I wrote this song for S, when we were dating... wow is kinda hard to see how many times I had the chance to love and my ego was stronger... well now I know love hurts.
ReAding My JourNal
I was reading my first journal, wow!!! can't believe all the things that I have there!, songs, draws, episodes of my life, my secret thoughts.
I'd realized my talent to write, if somebody can read it can think is a book, technically it is. It can be a really good movie: Horror, fantasy, drama, friendship, love, broken hearts, music... a new dimension of adventures.
I found a great "chapter", really interesting. Actually I'd forgot it 'till all the memories came back.
Im better Alone(blue side) October 27 (guessing) 2004
Always single, never alone...
This months I've been alone(without a relationship) I'm feeling better, having time for myself, learning a lil bit more in so many ways, I'd thought can't be alone for a while, I was so used to go out but it was just that "used to be". Here on Mexico(city of lost) have been dating a lil, but no one can fulfil that empty space on me for different factors: age, compatibility, mood, conversation, between more things, can be or is that I'm not ready to start a relationship, I've been more focused on myself, bc I want so many things for me. Yesterday had the answer for one question, I didn't went to my date with ?, listening Triple G, I reaffirm my position about this situation; First thing to do.- Get peace with myself, then in the club I just find the sex of my life not the love of my life, it will arrive in the right moment no before, no after.
That's why I walked away from my last date. Being on stand by without leaving the fun out, the party keep going... I'm looking for some action, I don't know why is a "but" in all this(:S)
I'm better alone anyway..
Don't tell me by Avril Lavigne
I was reading my first journal, wow!!! can't believe all the things that I have there!, songs, draws, episodes of my life, my secret thoughts.
I'd realized my talent to write, if somebody can read it can think is a book, technically it is. It can be a really good movie: Horror, fantasy, drama, friendship, love, broken hearts, music... a new dimension of adventures.
I found a great "chapter", really interesting. Actually I'd forgot it 'till all the memories came back.
Im better Alone(blue side) October 27 (guessing) 2004
Always single, never alone...
This months I've been alone(without a relationship) I'm feeling better, having time for myself, learning a lil bit more in so many ways, I'd thought can't be alone for a while, I was so used to go out but it was just that "used to be". Here on Mexico(city of lost) have been dating a lil, but no one can fulfil that empty space on me for different factors: age, compatibility, mood, conversation, between more things, can be or is that I'm not ready to start a relationship, I've been more focused on myself, bc I want so many things for me. Yesterday had the answer for one question, I didn't went to my date with ?, listening Triple G, I reaffirm my position about this situation; First thing to do.- Get peace with myself, then in the club I just find the sex of my life not the love of my life, it will arrive in the right moment no before, no after.
That's why I walked away from my last date. Being on stand by without leaving the fun out, the party keep going... I'm looking for some action, I don't know why is a "but" in all this(:S)
I'm better alone anyway..
Don't tell me by Avril Lavigne
tAke It AwaY
by Becky Baeling
I was about the water when u found me, so load in sadly,
but I wasn't drowning, I bet you take me into yards of rapids,
I'll let you hold me, but you don't control me.
Because I want you,and know I need you,
my love is easy as I can give it up, just might take it away
The shore is sunny shiny just might break like the rain,
now that I’m giving you my heart don’t let it break,
you can not my love or take it away.
After you spare the fields for you to come to see this,
it wasn’t easy so don’t you dease me,
because I’m giving you more than anyone before you,
I’d let you know me, but you don’t know me
I've got the cd from this girl, I love her estyle and this song is just awesome, so electro, so "mind tripping"...
by Becky Baeling
I was about the water when u found me, so load in sadly,
but I wasn't drowning, I bet you take me into yards of rapids,
I'll let you hold me, but you don't control me.
Because I want you,and know I need you,
my love is easy as I can give it up, just might take it away
The shore is sunny shiny just might break like the rain,
now that I’m giving you my heart don’t let it break,
you can not my love or take it away.
After you spare the fields for you to come to see this,
it wasn’t easy so don’t you dease me,
because I’m giving you more than anyone before you,
I’d let you know me, but you don’t know me
I've got the cd from this girl, I love her estyle and this song is just awesome, so electro, so "mind tripping"...
28.1.10
OnE moRe dAY
Is one more I'd survive your love, how? I dunno. Today it was hard not to think about you, since early in the morning u are in my mind.
Alex and I we were talking about relationships, that I don't believe in second chances and forgiveness. Also about I don't wanna get involve with nobody, I said too " I don't believe in love right now", that is completely true. I don't blame you for this but U have ur contribution to make me give up on love.
I know the last months were so hard, but like in a movie u killed my last feelings left.
Can you tell how we used to be?
Can you deny u dont think of me quite the way I do?
Do you miss me?
Can you look me in th eye and tell me I dont want you in my life?
The 10th day without... can't stop loving you.
The sky has seen a million raindrops fall,
the hours seem to crawl.
And everyday that passes is the same
just like yesterday.
I can't find any way to forget you because,
to keep on loving you is inevitable.
Inevitable by Shakira
Is one more I'd survive your love, how? I dunno. Today it was hard not to think about you, since early in the morning u are in my mind.
Alex and I we were talking about relationships, that I don't believe in second chances and forgiveness. Also about I don't wanna get involve with nobody, I said too " I don't believe in love right now", that is completely true. I don't blame you for this but U have ur contribution to make me give up on love.
I know the last months were so hard, but like in a movie u killed my last feelings left.
Can you tell how we used to be?
Can you deny u dont think of me quite the way I do?
Do you miss me?
Can you look me in th eye and tell me I dont want you in my life?
The 10th day without... can't stop loving you.
The sky has seen a million raindrops fall,
the hours seem to crawl.
And everyday that passes is the same
just like yesterday.
I can't find any way to forget you because,
to keep on loving you is inevitable.
Inevitable by Shakira
27.1.10
tOdAy
Finally someone knows about you, I told Maria everything that happened that sunday morning, now she knows who u are.... Well the first person to know this and the last, bc I'm not ready yet to tell the world. So u still in my mind... Im still loving you, but can't be with you anymore... I don't need you, but I do love you.
Anyway today was a better day, hope this week gets better.
The 9Th day without you....
The 7 things I like about you
Your hair, your eyes, your old Levi's
And when we kiss, I'm hypnotized
You make me laugh, you make me cry
But I guess that's both I'll have to buy
Your hand in mine
When we're intertwined everything's alright
I want to be
With the one I know
And the 7th thing I like the most that you do
You make me love you
You do (oh)
Finally someone knows about you, I told Maria everything that happened that sunday morning, now she knows who u are.... Well the first person to know this and the last, bc I'm not ready yet to tell the world. So u still in my mind... Im still loving you, but can't be with you anymore... I don't need you, but I do love you.
Anyway today was a better day, hope this week gets better.
The 9Th day without you....
The 7 things I like about you
Your hair, your eyes, your old Levi's
And when we kiss, I'm hypnotized
You make me laugh, you make me cry
But I guess that's both I'll have to buy
Your hand in mine
When we're intertwined everything's alright
I want to be
With the one I know
And the 7th thing I like the most that you do
You make me love you
You do (oh)
26.1.10
pArAdisIo
So today I had a revelation about us, the needing of taking one day @ the time is the best for me, just worry about tomorrow was so difficult that idea was smashing my brain. Lina and I we were talking about depression, sadly to admit; I'm. But that it doesn't mean I have to stop my life, my "estado" make sleepless nights, well I do sleep well for some hours but early something wake me up, prolly the emptiness in my heart what u left on me.
Anyway, I had an online consultation with my private doctor(My best friend Jay) so he told me: I need to relax and stop worry about anything is the only way to get the sleep back.
Basically today was a good day, I'd "survive". This is the 8Th day without you....but who is counting?
Bailando, bailando
amigos adios, adios el silencio loco
bailando bailando...
So today I had a revelation about us, the needing of taking one day @ the time is the best for me, just worry about tomorrow was so difficult that idea was smashing my brain. Lina and I we were talking about depression, sadly to admit; I'm. But that it doesn't mean I have to stop my life, my "estado" make sleepless nights, well I do sleep well for some hours but early something wake me up, prolly the emptiness in my heart what u left on me.
Anyway, I had an online consultation with my private doctor(My best friend Jay) so he told me: I need to relax and stop worry about anything is the only way to get the sleep back.
Basically today was a good day, I'd "survive". This is the 8Th day without you....but who is counting?
Bailando, bailando
amigos adios, adios el silencio loco
bailando bailando...
25.1.10
WhAt eLse can i Say!?
Im getting tired of talk about ur illusion in my head, My feelings still there for you, they will be forever, but the logical part of my life is telling to keep going without you, knowing the facts between us, prolly u already move on...so it doesen't matter if it is a week or 700 hundred days, is not me wanting to forget you, but Im feeling like Big from Sex and the City, posting my feelings in this blogspot. I will do it when need to talk about you, but today it was a normal day without you. Now im riping some songs from the cd you gave me months ago, even I thought they gonna make me feel blue, they didn't. Actually some songs are really good.
So maybe is me giving up on you...
This is me today, I dont know who I will be tomorrow. I love you P.
Im getting tired of talk about ur illusion in my head, My feelings still there for you, they will be forever, but the logical part of my life is telling to keep going without you, knowing the facts between us, prolly u already move on...so it doesen't matter if it is a week or 700 hundred days, is not me wanting to forget you, but Im feeling like Big from Sex and the City, posting my feelings in this blogspot. I will do it when need to talk about you, but today it was a normal day without you. Now im riping some songs from the cd you gave me months ago, even I thought they gonna make me feel blue, they didn't. Actually some songs are really good.
So maybe is me giving up on you...
This is me today, I dont know who I will be tomorrow. I love you P.
24.1.10
sUndAy(sWe3t aGonY)
It has been a week since the last time we've been together, I remember me being at 3:45 am waiting in my car in the parking lot waiting for your lite to come out, the minutes became an hour, but nothing happend @ that moment, anyway, U did text me early in the morning, back and forth like a roller coaster, finally I'd decided to break the silence so I'd called you.
I was crying bc it hurted so much.... so you asked me to go to your house, the lil flame was on, but not for long. U were waiting for me, the first thing we did was hold each other for a while, then a sweet kiss make us believe for a second in another chance to try.
We sat in the couch for a while, just touching each others face, holding our bodies so tide against the situation. I played These Four Walls, we've cried together; then the Passion we can't resist, kissing your body one more time, feeling your hands running thru my skin... we ended in your room... I was holding you so tide, we were naked, just YOU and ME.
The time went so fast, it was time for you to go to work...........tic tac, tic tac... can't wait to see you again, my heart was pounding like before, but sadly our reality, ur reality was so different than mine.. We didn't make it to the final lap, we were running in opposite directions. My head and heart were a tornado of emotions, I know u were feeling the same. The love and lose of trust were the two facts that cannot get fix. So I left your house with my heart broken in million pieces(I'm still looking for 'em). That was the begining of my life without you.
After seven days, after 500000 feelings, 79 love songs, 2 seasons of Charmed... Im still thinking about you, loving you with all my heart, but knowing is no chance for us.
I want your loving
And I want your revenge
You and me put on a bad romance
I want your loving
All your love is revenge
You and me put on a bad romance
It has been a week since the last time we've been together, I remember me being at 3:45 am waiting in my car in the parking lot waiting for your lite to come out, the minutes became an hour, but nothing happend @ that moment, anyway, U did text me early in the morning, back and forth like a roller coaster, finally I'd decided to break the silence so I'd called you.
I was crying bc it hurted so much.... so you asked me to go to your house, the lil flame was on, but not for long. U were waiting for me, the first thing we did was hold each other for a while, then a sweet kiss make us believe for a second in another chance to try.
We sat in the couch for a while, just touching each others face, holding our bodies so tide against the situation. I played These Four Walls, we've cried together; then the Passion we can't resist, kissing your body one more time, feeling your hands running thru my skin... we ended in your room... I was holding you so tide, we were naked, just YOU and ME.
The time went so fast, it was time for you to go to work...........tic tac, tic tac... can't wait to see you again, my heart was pounding like before, but sadly our reality, ur reality was so different than mine.. We didn't make it to the final lap, we were running in opposite directions. My head and heart were a tornado of emotions, I know u were feeling the same. The love and lose of trust were the two facts that cannot get fix. So I left your house with my heart broken in million pieces(I'm still looking for 'em). That was the begining of my life without you.
After seven days, after 500000 feelings, 79 love songs, 2 seasons of Charmed... Im still thinking about you, loving you with all my heart, but knowing is no chance for us.
I want your loving
And I want your revenge
You and me put on a bad romance
I want your loving
All your love is revenge
You and me put on a bad romance
23.1.10
KeEp gOinG
I went to the club, but some strange feeling was telling me to go home, so I waited out for Roberto, but he didn't showed up on time, so hearing my inner voice, I left and come back home.
I dont know if that something was telling me that u gonna be there, what if u went with someone else? Can't deal with that right now, so guessing I'm better @ home, sleeping.
This is a short post, just wanted to xpress my feelings.
Apologize by One Republic
I'd take another chance,
Take a fall, take a shot for you.
I need you like a heart needs a beat,
But it's nothin' new.
I loved you with a fire red,
Now it's turnin' blue...
And you say...
Sorry, you're not the angel
Heaven let me think was you...
But I'm afraid...
I went to the club, but some strange feeling was telling me to go home, so I waited out for Roberto, but he didn't showed up on time, so hearing my inner voice, I left and come back home.
I dont know if that something was telling me that u gonna be there, what if u went with someone else? Can't deal with that right now, so guessing I'm better @ home, sleeping.
This is a short post, just wanted to xpress my feelings.
Apologize by One Republic
I'd take another chance,
Take a fall, take a shot for you.
I need you like a heart needs a beat,
But it's nothin' new.
I loved you with a fire red,
Now it's turnin' blue...
And you say...
Sorry, you're not the angel
Heaven let me think was you...
But I'm afraid...
If WE aRe a MoVie?
hOw wE cAll It?
The script is gonna start like this:
Drawing illusion in thin air, painting the next chapter in our lives with paint from the starts, if we wanted blue we take it from the very moon.
Scene 1
April 25Th 11:00 am, I'm driving without any clue where to find you, I call you to ask you for directions, u answer kinda nervous, take the next street, i will meet you outside.
Finally I'd found the way, you are walking thru the street in the middle of the crowd, I'm walking too, so we meet in the corner. I saw you for the first time, we introduced each other: Hi, I'm G! Hi, I'm P!, we keep walking and decided what we wanna do. Saying so many places to have lunch but we agree eat @ California Kitchen. We are there face to face with nothing to say, one pizza to share, u are drinking water and me a mango ice tea, the silence between us is so big, so I break it with a joke... U laugh.... we are done eating, check please....
U invite me to your house to watch a movie, I do accept but I have to work after, around 4 is a Saturday.
So we got into your apartment, u are searching for a movie in the PS3, Taken is the one we start watching, but the sexual tension is so dense, you start puking my ribs, it tickles I say, but both we know whats gonna happen, our bodies are screaming to get closer, feel skin, the naked skin. Im getting close to kiss you... I feel your hands going thru my hair.... Our lips are in madness.... my hands running thru ur skin.
I can't help it, the passion is on the air, just keep kissing me, don't stop... let ur senses get lose into mines. After a while our clothes are lying in the floor, can't hardly resist so the xplosion of sex is on. My lips are kissing every corner of you, u are shakin, maybe is all the sensations in ur body, chemistry againts reason. I feel ur hands in my back, even I dont like that part of my body it makes me feel.. We keep wrapping our bodies on pleasure. The climax is running thru our vains, making us xplode in sensations.
Minutes after I have to say goodbye bc Ihave to work. Ur face is not telling me anything, so dunno if we going to repeat this again.
Scene 2
Our cell phones are so hot, we can't stop texting each other. Saying things without any sense, but we read between lines. Days pass some sporadic dates come and go but is one to remember.
Scene 3
A magical nite to remember, is the river and the lights, the moon and the stars, the sky is blue like never before. I pick u up without telling you where we going. Just a couple phone calls, 100's of text, the coin is in the air to bet my wings, to see the green in ur eyes, I'm not sure if you like this, but, no need to wait(well thats in my mind).
We are walking on the side of the river, all I can think is the magic of this nite, wishing, hoping to dont screw up.
U look @ me, like I'm a crazy dreamer just floating in clouds, but the sound of the air is telling you: " take the chance", so you do.
The hours goes so fast, the nite has to end, like in a fairy tale... but our love is real. Is the first time you telling me what u feeling:"U are waking up feelings I'd thougth they were so lost, but now u show me what's the love all about".
I can't deny my love for you either, part of me was hiding behind the wall, scare, but taking the risk is the only way to see love.
Love music is the background, Closer by Mel C
Loving you madly will be forever
I see the ocean in your eyes when we're together
There are no boundaries
There are no limits
My heart has been embraced now that you're in it
(Chorus)
Hold me closer to your dreams
Closer to your fears
Close to hear your laughter
Hold me when you're close to tears
Even i dont have the rights for the song, it has to be part of the soundtrack.
Scene 4
Im in the middle of the room, can't breath, my head is ready to xplode, feelings coming and going.... dunno what to do, only u can calm me down. Come here, astro project urself to rescue me. The darkness is invading my room, the candles are burning into, what I will do in this darkness? suddenly ur inner light is showing. I can hear your footsteps, u getting closer to reach my hand, to calm down my madness. I feel you, just hold me, I say.
My silence are the only sorrow... but the same silence is gonna kill the stars in the sky. It will be.
Scene 5
U are crying, first time ur tears are running, why? is because of me?. Can be this true?....
(The next scene still in my head, but i need to be able to put it on this blog)
Talking about my day without you, was long and boring, after work Zam and I, we went to the movies to watch Legion(Angels are awesome), Im boring now dunno what to do, maybe dance for a while?, Im tired 2...
The 5Th day without you
hOw wE cAll It?
The script is gonna start like this:
Drawing illusion in thin air, painting the next chapter in our lives with paint from the starts, if we wanted blue we take it from the very moon.
Scene 1
April 25Th 11:00 am, I'm driving without any clue where to find you, I call you to ask you for directions, u answer kinda nervous, take the next street, i will meet you outside.
Finally I'd found the way, you are walking thru the street in the middle of the crowd, I'm walking too, so we meet in the corner. I saw you for the first time, we introduced each other: Hi, I'm G! Hi, I'm P!, we keep walking and decided what we wanna do. Saying so many places to have lunch but we agree eat @ California Kitchen. We are there face to face with nothing to say, one pizza to share, u are drinking water and me a mango ice tea, the silence between us is so big, so I break it with a joke... U laugh.... we are done eating, check please....
U invite me to your house to watch a movie, I do accept but I have to work after, around 4 is a Saturday.
So we got into your apartment, u are searching for a movie in the PS3, Taken is the one we start watching, but the sexual tension is so dense, you start puking my ribs, it tickles I say, but both we know whats gonna happen, our bodies are screaming to get closer, feel skin, the naked skin. Im getting close to kiss you... I feel your hands going thru my hair.... Our lips are in madness.... my hands running thru ur skin.
I can't help it, the passion is on the air, just keep kissing me, don't stop... let ur senses get lose into mines. After a while our clothes are lying in the floor, can't hardly resist so the xplosion of sex is on. My lips are kissing every corner of you, u are shakin, maybe is all the sensations in ur body, chemistry againts reason. I feel ur hands in my back, even I dont like that part of my body it makes me feel.. We keep wrapping our bodies on pleasure. The climax is running thru our vains, making us xplode in sensations.
Minutes after I have to say goodbye bc Ihave to work. Ur face is not telling me anything, so dunno if we going to repeat this again.
Scene 2
Our cell phones are so hot, we can't stop texting each other. Saying things without any sense, but we read between lines. Days pass some sporadic dates come and go but is one to remember.
Scene 3
A magical nite to remember, is the river and the lights, the moon and the stars, the sky is blue like never before. I pick u up without telling you where we going. Just a couple phone calls, 100's of text, the coin is in the air to bet my wings, to see the green in ur eyes, I'm not sure if you like this, but, no need to wait(well thats in my mind).
We are walking on the side of the river, all I can think is the magic of this nite, wishing, hoping to dont screw up.
U look @ me, like I'm a crazy dreamer just floating in clouds, but the sound of the air is telling you: " take the chance", so you do.
The hours goes so fast, the nite has to end, like in a fairy tale... but our love is real. Is the first time you telling me what u feeling:"U are waking up feelings I'd thougth they were so lost, but now u show me what's the love all about".
I can't deny my love for you either, part of me was hiding behind the wall, scare, but taking the risk is the only way to see love.
Love music is the background, Closer by Mel C
Loving you madly will be forever
I see the ocean in your eyes when we're together
There are no boundaries
There are no limits
My heart has been embraced now that you're in it
(Chorus)
Hold me closer to your dreams
Closer to your fears
Close to hear your laughter
Hold me when you're close to tears
Even i dont have the rights for the song, it has to be part of the soundtrack.
Scene 4
Im in the middle of the room, can't breath, my head is ready to xplode, feelings coming and going.... dunno what to do, only u can calm me down. Come here, astro project urself to rescue me. The darkness is invading my room, the candles are burning into, what I will do in this darkness? suddenly ur inner light is showing. I can hear your footsteps, u getting closer to reach my hand, to calm down my madness. I feel you, just hold me, I say.
My silence are the only sorrow... but the same silence is gonna kill the stars in the sky. It will be.
Scene 5
U are crying, first time ur tears are running, why? is because of me?. Can be this true?....
(The next scene still in my head, but i need to be able to put it on this blog)
Talking about my day without you, was long and boring, after work Zam and I, we went to the movies to watch Legion(Angels are awesome), Im boring now dunno what to do, maybe dance for a while?, Im tired 2...
The 5Th day without you
22.1.10
hOurS(gone)
The hours seems slow. Just watching the clock in my wall, just counting the minutes for the day, a day without you.
I was searching in my phone and I'd found ur number(btw I just delete it) I've got it for the last time that u called me in Sunday when u asked me: What we are? How we should call this? and I said: U are u and me is me. Anyway I don't want ur number bc I will have the temptation to call u, hear your voice and make my heart lie to me.
Last nite one episode of Charmed was about Cupid, how he makes love happens, funny isn't it?. But love isn't forever and when some of us we just close the heart, like that is impossible to let love go thru. At the end like a typical script love is more powerful so it wins, not in our case right?. I always believe love is all around even a simple cloud can make love different.
I decided to have a movie night, Star Trek and Paranormal Activity, so far is been good, I took a break to play Bayonetta(the game is so good but is to short, I saved the receipt so i will return the game) I will watch the other one when I'll be ready to go to bed.
Something weird happens to me today; I didn't listen songs that remain of you, isn't bc don't miss you like crazy, but my head wasn't in the mood to deal with the situation. My room is so clean and smells good, my laundry is done but your voice still saying my name?
I went to Walmart to have the food for the week, this is gonna sound crazy, but every part of the store had something that remain me of you... I know is kinda cheap, hehehe. When I was there it feels like another dimension of goodies and things to share with you. I have some "junk food" also healthy one to keep on my diet, actually I'm thinking to enjoy the gym next month to get my six pack(not of beer's).
That was my day, the 4Th day without you.
Y...
¿tú cómo estás?
espero que bien,
te echo de menos.
Yo...
¿qué puedo decir?
si no estas... aquí,
sólo espero.
The hours seems slow. Just watching the clock in my wall, just counting the minutes for the day, a day without you.
I was searching in my phone and I'd found ur number(btw I just delete it) I've got it for the last time that u called me in Sunday when u asked me: What we are? How we should call this? and I said: U are u and me is me. Anyway I don't want ur number bc I will have the temptation to call u, hear your voice and make my heart lie to me.
Last nite one episode of Charmed was about Cupid, how he makes love happens, funny isn't it?. But love isn't forever and when some of us we just close the heart, like that is impossible to let love go thru. At the end like a typical script love is more powerful so it wins, not in our case right?. I always believe love is all around even a simple cloud can make love different.
I decided to have a movie night, Star Trek and Paranormal Activity, so far is been good, I took a break to play Bayonetta(the game is so good but is to short, I saved the receipt so i will return the game) I will watch the other one when I'll be ready to go to bed.
Something weird happens to me today; I didn't listen songs that remain of you, isn't bc don't miss you like crazy, but my head wasn't in the mood to deal with the situation. My room is so clean and smells good, my laundry is done but your voice still saying my name?
I went to Walmart to have the food for the week, this is gonna sound crazy, but every part of the store had something that remain me of you... I know is kinda cheap, hehehe. When I was there it feels like another dimension of goodies and things to share with you. I have some "junk food" also healthy one to keep on my diet, actually I'm thinking to enjoy the gym next month to get my six pack(not of beer's).
That was my day, the 4Th day without you.
Y...
¿tú cómo estás?
espero que bien,
te echo de menos.
Yo...
¿qué puedo decir?
si no estas... aquí,
sólo espero.
21.1.10
SoMebodY aSk fOr yoU?
Alex asked me about you, he said: who is it that u are so in love?, well my answer was: I don't wanna talk about it. When he was asking me that my heart was pounding, the sensation of love was running thru my body.
Talking about another thing, today Gerardo went to get lunch with me, he's is a really good friend of mine, it has been like 6 months since the last time we've seen each other, he looks different, but he's still being Gynger for me. We wanted to go to the movies to see Daybreakers but I had things to do(TV), so he decided to go to the gym. We've talk for a while(10 minutes) but it was so cool see him again, we agreed to go out next week, hope we can do it.
I had a good day @ work after all, being with the "Golosos" help me to dont think about you. I eat pizza today... and some mexican pastrys the ones that u like so much.
The vampire diaries is back, so i came home to watch it... now have to do that beacuse u used to downloaded for me, not anymore. In the episode Stefan tell the truth to Elena, and she was upset but relief to know the truth. I know u didn't like the show 2 much, but Im fan of vampaires. I wish can be one to move faster, jump higher and be more romantic with all that I have. Wishing I can be the vampire u need in your life to show u my other life's, share my dreams and the eternal night.
My day is almost over, just watching Charmed to waste time, just waiting for bedtime.
Is the 3rd day without you(again.
The smile on your face
Lets me know
That you need me
There's a truth
In your eyes
Saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says
You'll catch me
Whenever I fall
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
Alex asked me about you, he said: who is it that u are so in love?, well my answer was: I don't wanna talk about it. When he was asking me that my heart was pounding, the sensation of love was running thru my body.
Talking about another thing, today Gerardo went to get lunch with me, he's is a really good friend of mine, it has been like 6 months since the last time we've seen each other, he looks different, but he's still being Gynger for me. We wanted to go to the movies to see Daybreakers but I had things to do(TV), so he decided to go to the gym. We've talk for a while(10 minutes) but it was so cool see him again, we agreed to go out next week, hope we can do it.
I had a good day @ work after all, being with the "Golosos" help me to dont think about you. I eat pizza today... and some mexican pastrys the ones that u like so much.
The vampire diaries is back, so i came home to watch it... now have to do that beacuse u used to downloaded for me, not anymore. In the episode Stefan tell the truth to Elena, and she was upset but relief to know the truth. I know u didn't like the show 2 much, but Im fan of vampaires. I wish can be one to move faster, jump higher and be more romantic with all that I have. Wishing I can be the vampire u need in your life to show u my other life's, share my dreams and the eternal night.
My day is almost over, just watching Charmed to waste time, just waiting for bedtime.
Is the 3rd day without you(again.
The smile on your face
Lets me know
That you need me
There's a truth
In your eyes
Saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says
You'll catch me
Whenever I fall
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
20.1.10
HIV teST
Yoday I went to the clinic to take the HIV test, it was negative for now. U wondering why did I took the test? Part is bc I don't belive when said to me: "I didn't sleep with anyone but you" and the other part bc was for myself to make sure I'm ok. Well i wish we took it together... Im negative for now.
I was in ur old neighborhood, a lot memories were in my head, me trying to find your house, that april 25th in the middle of the crown, u wearing red shorts with ur clueless walk. The nites we spend in your old apartment. Cool memories came down.
Im planing going to the movies to see The Lovely Bones, we talk about that movie and we wanted to see it 2gether. Im gonna save your seat if you wanna come(I wish), So tecnically that was part of my day without you.
So I went to see the movie, it's so great is long but u gonna like it. I didn't eat popcorn is weird, isnt it? lol. Some moments in the movie I was holding your hand specially when something about the movie was telling me what should I do for the next date.
Anyway this is the end of my day without you, like every other night I will take my pills to fall sleep.
De tardes negras
que no hay tiempo ni espacio
y nadie nunca entendera...
Yoday I went to the clinic to take the HIV test, it was negative for now. U wondering why did I took the test? Part is bc I don't belive when said to me: "I didn't sleep with anyone but you" and the other part bc was for myself to make sure I'm ok. Well i wish we took it together... Im negative for now.
I was in ur old neighborhood, a lot memories were in my head, me trying to find your house, that april 25th in the middle of the crown, u wearing red shorts with ur clueless walk. The nites we spend in your old apartment. Cool memories came down.
Im planing going to the movies to see The Lovely Bones, we talk about that movie and we wanted to see it 2gether. Im gonna save your seat if you wanna come(I wish), So tecnically that was part of my day without you.
So I went to see the movie, it's so great is long but u gonna like it. I didn't eat popcorn is weird, isnt it? lol. Some moments in the movie I was holding your hand specially when something about the movie was telling me what should I do for the next date.
Anyway this is the end of my day without you, like every other night I will take my pills to fall sleep.
De tardes negras
que no hay tiempo ni espacio
y nadie nunca entendera...
19.1.10
FirSt daY
Like I thought, you never email me back, maybe u never will. I made a play list in my ipod I called "Songs to Forget", sometimes it helps listen to songs that remain me of you, my day was hard every five seconds u were in my mind, but what can i do? just holding my smile and pretend everything is all OK, that what i will do on front of the people, but now I'm alone and can't hide my real feelings. Like I said before can't cry anymore because is no more tears in my eyes. I miss you like crazy. I'm hoping dont get hopeless.
Is all can say now, I will wait a lil to take my pills to fall sleep... like that the agony is less painful.
I love you P.
Like I thought, you never email me back, maybe u never will. I made a play list in my ipod I called "Songs to Forget", sometimes it helps listen to songs that remain me of you, my day was hard every five seconds u were in my mind, but what can i do? just holding my smile and pretend everything is all OK, that what i will do on front of the people, but now I'm alone and can't hide my real feelings. Like I said before can't cry anymore because is no more tears in my eyes. I miss you like crazy. I'm hoping dont get hopeless.
Is all can say now, I will wait a lil to take my pills to fall sleep... like that the agony is less painful.
I love you P.
18.1.10
LaSt of ThE lAst
This is gonna be the last time i will talk about you, u took ur desition and U can't have me and have someone else, i love you so much but I love myself more to let you do that, i dont wanna share ur bed with someone else. U texted me "I wanna try again" and then u just let me down. We talked for hours and we cried for hours, i know u love me but i dont want to wait 'till u decided u wanna be with me, so my best bid is giving u back ur freedoom, that's what u ask me, u dont wanna be in a relationship, neither do I, i wanted to be with you, so is nothing left for me. Is time for me to move on and pretend u dont exist for me, that u were just a dream.
I will never talk about you, i will never say ur name with nobody,because if I keep doing it i will not survive, I just closed that chapter in my imagination... I will leave you alone, i dont have any way to contact you, I'd just erase everything about you(I wish i could be a better actor), whatever is done is done. I cant promise you the moon and the stars, but one thing I know i would do anything to get you back, but is to late. I know my mistakes and u already know yours. This hurts like never before, i was there on front of you to see you at least one more time, and i did, now u will be in my heart even is broken, cant even find the lil pieces, they are all over the place, I cant have u in my mind because the rational part of it cant handle it.... so I'd never regret anything like this... u were my reason to keep going, now my reason is myself...I wish we can have another chance to be together and start all over. Now u know how scare i was to show my feelings, I'd always ended worse. So I will build my bubble and dont let anyone get into my life for long time, Im so fragile...
Im not crying because i dont have more tears. I dont know when i will be able to talk to somebody about this, i will keep it to myself like I'd always do, if somebody ask me about u, i will change the conversation.
Even if I deny my love for you, i will love you 'till i cant anymore... My silence kill us and it will kill me slowly.
Goodbye P.
Just know I love the time that we both had
And I don't ever want to see you sad, be happy
Cause I don't want to hold you
If you don't want to tell me you love me babe
Just know I'm gonna have to walk away
I'll be big enough for both of us to say, be happy
Bottom of the Ocean by Miley Cyrus
And part of me still believes
When you say you’re gonna stick around
And part of me still believes
We can find a way to work it out
But I know that we tried everything we could try
So let's just say goodbye
Forever
Out from Under by Britney
I say don't get too close
protect yourself from love.
It's hard to stay afloat
when you try and you try and you try.
I say don't get too close
protect yourself from love.
Yet, I find it hurts the most
when you try and you try and you try
and you're not close enough.
Close Enough by Keo Nozari
You teach me how to love
Parts of myself
I hated for so long
Loving myself
Through loving you
I no longer live like a man in the dark
Hiding all the pieces of my broken heart
Way up high I'm holding on
Way up high I'm holding on to you
Feel by Darren Hayes
Everything you’ve wanted
Lies deep within me
I’m really sweet inside
I’ll unlock you with my key
Let me Show U by Fey
wish that I could make you stay
but I know I have no power to persuade
the heart will do what it must do
So kiss me
one last time
and tell me how to live my life without you
Cause I love you without and ending
cause I need you to be my everything
tell me the meaning of a life without you with me
when the night falls I'll still be standing
cause you'll always be right here in my heart
and in my deepest memories
I will never have to be without you
love is like a work of art
once you feel it you hold it in your heart
you know forever that its true
so kiss me
for always
even if I live my life without you
Without You by Laura Pausini
I find you standing there
Telling me you're sorry
A lonely tear rolling down your face
You hold me, then time stops
I struggle to kiss you
And you just take my breath away
Just hold on for a second my love
Just to tell me this whole thing is wrong
Would you please just keep it down low?
Spare me 5 minutes
I wanna feel your sweet and soft touch
All over me
I want this kiss to last forever
We're both off limits
As we wrap it up we both know
That the end is just right here
Right here, oh
I'm feeling too scared now
Just trying to understand
Why this love couldn't be crystal clear
Your lips feel so freezing
Demanding sweet kissing
Is it the air 'cause I just can't breathe?
Just hold on for a second my love (For a second)
Just to tell me this whole thing is wrong
Would you please just keep it down low?
Spare me 5 minutes
I wanna feel your sweet and soft touch
All over me
I want this kiss to forever
We're both off limits
As we wrap it up we both know
At the end it's just right here
Please hold my hand, love
My breath won't come back again
Say that you love me that you're not the one to blame
At least for just one second
I believe your words are true love
Keep it down low by Rbd
This is gonna be the last time i will talk about you, u took ur desition and U can't have me and have someone else, i love you so much but I love myself more to let you do that, i dont wanna share ur bed with someone else. U texted me "I wanna try again" and then u just let me down. We talked for hours and we cried for hours, i know u love me but i dont want to wait 'till u decided u wanna be with me, so my best bid is giving u back ur freedoom, that's what u ask me, u dont wanna be in a relationship, neither do I, i wanted to be with you, so is nothing left for me. Is time for me to move on and pretend u dont exist for me, that u were just a dream.
I will never talk about you, i will never say ur name with nobody,because if I keep doing it i will not survive, I just closed that chapter in my imagination... I will leave you alone, i dont have any way to contact you, I'd just erase everything about you(I wish i could be a better actor), whatever is done is done. I cant promise you the moon and the stars, but one thing I know i would do anything to get you back, but is to late. I know my mistakes and u already know yours. This hurts like never before, i was there on front of you to see you at least one more time, and i did, now u will be in my heart even is broken, cant even find the lil pieces, they are all over the place, I cant have u in my mind because the rational part of it cant handle it.... so I'd never regret anything like this... u were my reason to keep going, now my reason is myself...I wish we can have another chance to be together and start all over. Now u know how scare i was to show my feelings, I'd always ended worse. So I will build my bubble and dont let anyone get into my life for long time, Im so fragile...
Im not crying because i dont have more tears. I dont know when i will be able to talk to somebody about this, i will keep it to myself like I'd always do, if somebody ask me about u, i will change the conversation.
Even if I deny my love for you, i will love you 'till i cant anymore... My silence kill us and it will kill me slowly.
Goodbye P.
Just know I love the time that we both had
And I don't ever want to see you sad, be happy
Cause I don't want to hold you
If you don't want to tell me you love me babe
Just know I'm gonna have to walk away
I'll be big enough for both of us to say, be happy
Bottom of the Ocean by Miley Cyrus
And part of me still believes
When you say you’re gonna stick around
And part of me still believes
We can find a way to work it out
But I know that we tried everything we could try
So let's just say goodbye
Forever
Out from Under by Britney
I say don't get too close
protect yourself from love.
It's hard to stay afloat
when you try and you try and you try.
I say don't get too close
protect yourself from love.
Yet, I find it hurts the most
when you try and you try and you try
and you're not close enough.
Close Enough by Keo Nozari
You teach me how to love
Parts of myself
I hated for so long
Loving myself
Through loving you
I no longer live like a man in the dark
Hiding all the pieces of my broken heart
Way up high I'm holding on
Way up high I'm holding on to you
Feel by Darren Hayes
Everything you’ve wanted
Lies deep within me
I’m really sweet inside
I’ll unlock you with my key
Let me Show U by Fey
wish that I could make you stay
but I know I have no power to persuade
the heart will do what it must do
So kiss me
one last time
and tell me how to live my life without you
Cause I love you without and ending
cause I need you to be my everything
tell me the meaning of a life without you with me
when the night falls I'll still be standing
cause you'll always be right here in my heart
and in my deepest memories
I will never have to be without you
love is like a work of art
once you feel it you hold it in your heart
you know forever that its true
so kiss me
for always
even if I live my life without you
Without You by Laura Pausini
I find you standing there
Telling me you're sorry
A lonely tear rolling down your face
You hold me, then time stops
I struggle to kiss you
And you just take my breath away
Just hold on for a second my love
Just to tell me this whole thing is wrong
Would you please just keep it down low?
Spare me 5 minutes
I wanna feel your sweet and soft touch
All over me
I want this kiss to last forever
We're both off limits
As we wrap it up we both know
That the end is just right here
Right here, oh
I'm feeling too scared now
Just trying to understand
Why this love couldn't be crystal clear
Your lips feel so freezing
Demanding sweet kissing
Is it the air 'cause I just can't breathe?
Just hold on for a second my love (For a second)
Just to tell me this whole thing is wrong
Would you please just keep it down low?
Spare me 5 minutes
I wanna feel your sweet and soft touch
All over me
I want this kiss to forever
We're both off limits
As we wrap it up we both know
At the end it's just right here
Please hold my hand, love
My breath won't come back again
Say that you love me that you're not the one to blame
At least for just one second
I believe your words are true love
Keep it down low by Rbd
15.1.10
MenTirAs PiaDosas
Mientras decia mentiras acerca de kerer olvidarte, han sido en vano, ya no puedo mas... kiero gritar k te amo, k regreses a mi lado. Son tantas cosas k me recuerdan a ti, hasta un simple silencio. Pero tengo tanto miedo de volverte amar, pero la parte racional de mi cabeza dice k me ekivoko igual k un topo, el corazon insiste, sigue palpitando a mil al oir tu nombre, ver tus fotos me es tan dificil k las evito. Intentando mantenerme ocupado, distrayendo mi mente para no pensar en ti.
Pero como puedo confiar en ti si has estado "buscando" en ese website? Se k yo estube ahi pero solo para hacerte saber k duele verte y no tenerte.
Me oculto detras de mi muro y el silencio de mi habitacion, escuchando These Four Wall de Miley, solo no puedo coger el telefono; marcar tu numero, oir tu voz.
Ya hace mas de dos semanas k no te veo, no siento tu tierno abrazo.... trato de seguir buscando las respuestas incorrectas....
While i was saying lies about to forget you, they've been in vain, i can't... i want scream that I love you, come back to my side. Its a lot of things that remain me of you, even a simple silence. But im so afraid to love you again, but the racional part of my head is telling im mistaken like an animal,the heart insist, keep beating 1000 times everytime that I've heard ur name, look at ur pictures is so hard Im avoid them. Im trying to keep myself busy, distracting my mind to dont think of you.
But how can i trust you knowing u are "looking" in that website?, i know i was there too, it was just to let you know it hurts seeing and dont having you.
I hide myself behind my wall and the silence in my room, listening These Four Walls by Miley, I can't pick the phone, dial your number, listen to your voice.
Is more than two weeks I didn't see you, i dont feel ur sweet arms around me...Im trying to look for the wrong answers.
Mentiras Piadosas
Alejandra Guzman
Hasta hoy me doy cuenta
que la vida no es nada si no tengo tu mirada.
Ni siquiera imaginaba que me harías tanta falta.
No sé qué es lo que pensaba.
Hoy que no estás
ya no encuentro las palabras
para decirte que me falta cada momento que me dabas.
Creo que voy a enloquecer si no te vuelvo a ver.
Dime que mañana vendrás, dime que no puedes vivir
Sólo dímelo así.
Dime que te duele terminar, dime que te sientes muy mal
Mentiras piadosas no me vienen nada mal.
No me vienen nada mal.
Tu sonrisa en la mañana
Tus caricias en mi espalda
son recuerdos que me matan.
Hoy que no estás ya no encuentro las palabras
para decirte que me falta cada momento que me dabas.
Creo que voy a enloquecer si no te vuelvo a ver.
Dime que mañana vendrás, dime que no puedes vivir
Sólo dímelo así.
Yo te creo todo, quiero ser feliz.
Dime que te duele terminar, dime que te sientes muy mal
Mentiras piadosas no me vienen nada mal.
No me vienen nada mal.
Mientras decia mentiras acerca de kerer olvidarte, han sido en vano, ya no puedo mas... kiero gritar k te amo, k regreses a mi lado. Son tantas cosas k me recuerdan a ti, hasta un simple silencio. Pero tengo tanto miedo de volverte amar, pero la parte racional de mi cabeza dice k me ekivoko igual k un topo, el corazon insiste, sigue palpitando a mil al oir tu nombre, ver tus fotos me es tan dificil k las evito. Intentando mantenerme ocupado, distrayendo mi mente para no pensar en ti.
Pero como puedo confiar en ti si has estado "buscando" en ese website? Se k yo estube ahi pero solo para hacerte saber k duele verte y no tenerte.
Me oculto detras de mi muro y el silencio de mi habitacion, escuchando These Four Wall de Miley, solo no puedo coger el telefono; marcar tu numero, oir tu voz.
Ya hace mas de dos semanas k no te veo, no siento tu tierno abrazo.... trato de seguir buscando las respuestas incorrectas....
While i was saying lies about to forget you, they've been in vain, i can't... i want scream that I love you, come back to my side. Its a lot of things that remain me of you, even a simple silence. But im so afraid to love you again, but the racional part of my head is telling im mistaken like an animal,the heart insist, keep beating 1000 times everytime that I've heard ur name, look at ur pictures is so hard Im avoid them. Im trying to keep myself busy, distracting my mind to dont think of you.
But how can i trust you knowing u are "looking" in that website?, i know i was there too, it was just to let you know it hurts seeing and dont having you.
I hide myself behind my wall and the silence in my room, listening These Four Walls by Miley, I can't pick the phone, dial your number, listen to your voice.
Is more than two weeks I didn't see you, i dont feel ur sweet arms around me...Im trying to look for the wrong answers.
Mentiras Piadosas
Alejandra Guzman
Hasta hoy me doy cuenta
que la vida no es nada si no tengo tu mirada.
Ni siquiera imaginaba que me harías tanta falta.
No sé qué es lo que pensaba.
Hoy que no estás
ya no encuentro las palabras
para decirte que me falta cada momento que me dabas.
Creo que voy a enloquecer si no te vuelvo a ver.
Dime que mañana vendrás, dime que no puedes vivir
Sólo dímelo así.
Dime que te duele terminar, dime que te sientes muy mal
Mentiras piadosas no me vienen nada mal.
No me vienen nada mal.
Tu sonrisa en la mañana
Tus caricias en mi espalda
son recuerdos que me matan.
Hoy que no estás ya no encuentro las palabras
para decirte que me falta cada momento que me dabas.
Creo que voy a enloquecer si no te vuelvo a ver.
Dime que mañana vendrás, dime que no puedes vivir
Sólo dímelo así.
Yo te creo todo, quiero ser feliz.
Dime que te duele terminar, dime que te sientes muy mal
Mentiras piadosas no me vienen nada mal.
No me vienen nada mal.
3.1.10
staRting fRom zEro
This is the history about a guy who felt in love and suddenly one day the love was killed by the shadow of silence, the silence was the only word he can pronounced, besides "i love u", his feelings were growing, being stronger for the other, but the shadow was hunting him every minute, just repressing all communication. Some draws, some songs were the only way to show the real person who he was.
Months passed, everything went like a roller coaster, every little piece of his fragile heart was falling down. He always hide himself behind a wall made of bad experiences, the wall was almost unbreakable, day by day he was working so hard to destroy at least one brick, sadly the wall was getting higher.
The "other" just stay watching, creating more bricks to add into the wall.
Somehow the trust got lost in a sex website, the words weren't enough to fix the problem, no more movies, no more sleepless nights, the last song to remember, a simple paint with part of his heart, four walls an endless night inside.
He just walked away in the middle of the night, a mile of pain and snow...
Nothing could save the love, nothing never will.
That's the history how he decided start all over from zero.
This is the history about a guy who felt in love and suddenly one day the love was killed by the shadow of silence, the silence was the only word he can pronounced, besides "i love u", his feelings were growing, being stronger for the other, but the shadow was hunting him every minute, just repressing all communication. Some draws, some songs were the only way to show the real person who he was.
Months passed, everything went like a roller coaster, every little piece of his fragile heart was falling down. He always hide himself behind a wall made of bad experiences, the wall was almost unbreakable, day by day he was working so hard to destroy at least one brick, sadly the wall was getting higher.
The "other" just stay watching, creating more bricks to add into the wall.
Somehow the trust got lost in a sex website, the words weren't enough to fix the problem, no more movies, no more sleepless nights, the last song to remember, a simple paint with part of his heart, four walls an endless night inside.
He just walked away in the middle of the night, a mile of pain and snow...
Nothing could save the love, nothing never will.
That's the history how he decided start all over from zero.
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