a YeAr AGo
Was in a day like this 365 days ago, it was cloudy(like today, my stomach was full of butterfly's, my pulse was faster than ever... weird don't even know you at that time... I've got lost for 15 minutes... finally I found you, walking thru the crowd, with ur red shorts, sandals, brown T shirt... your hair was longer.... anyway.
Today I feel nostalgic... bc we aren't together, and we never will. This time love is not enough to burn all the bridges.. a year ago, u made me the happiest man in the world... I fell in love but I lose again. Just the time will heal my wounds and help me thru this to start all over... Is raining now, like it is in my heart. After all love never dies... we kill it.
14.4.10
AfTer a WhiLe!!!
Well is been a while since the last time I'd wrote something, well a new thing came to my life, like the XV, redoing the dress, "el ramo", the Madonna remix (hang up/sorry), Luis.... wow is a lot for the next months. I feel good about all this.
Well I'm working harder and being less lazy, I guess so!!!!
The vampire diares are better everytime, God of War III is awesome it took me 2 week to bit the game..... well to much going on, just a short post to publish.
Well is been a while since the last time I'd wrote something, well a new thing came to my life, like the XV, redoing the dress, "el ramo", the Madonna remix (hang up/sorry), Luis.... wow is a lot for the next months. I feel good about all this.
Well I'm working harder and being less lazy, I guess so!!!!
The vampire diares are better everytime, God of War III is awesome it took me 2 week to bit the game..... well to much going on, just a short post to publish.
28.3.10
ConFunDido estoY!!!
No puedo creer k lo k tanto anhele tener entre mis brazos, el sentimiento fue el opuesto para mis emociones k en ese momento fueron nulas. Ansiaba tenerle entre mis brazos sentir su piel contra la mia, pero despues de tanto tiempo mis sentimientos han cambiado, de hecho al verle no senti esa coskilla en la panza, las ansias lokas de abrazarle, sencillamente no fueron las mismas k yo me habia imaginado. Sera por k no confio en el?, no puedo kitarme la idea de k ha estado con alguien mas, en sus ojos ya no siento esa calma k me transportaba a otro mundo.
Durante la noche no concilie el sueno, solo pensaba en que si realmente eso era lo que deseaba tener en mi vida? si acaso esto se volveria solo el encuentro ocasional entre dos "strangers" solo por no sentirse solo?, k mas da estar con el si ya no siento lo mismo? para que seguir detiendome en aire ligero?.
En fin no pude ni kedarme mas tiempo con el, tenia k salir y gritar, repirar... le volvi a ver por la tarde solo para reafirmar k ya no somos lo k soliamos ser.... el ya no se pierde en mis miradas, ya no puedo sentir que la noche es eterna.
Le hable despues del club pero yo sabia k no deberia hacerlo, algo me dice k estaba con alguien mas, me senti furioso, pero me trankilize y solo kise dormir. Por la manana ya no me sentia tan mal, y no lo hago ahora, es lo k me siento confundido de no saber para donde mirar o solo seguir adelante en este camino k no esta destinado para ambos. Ya no es lo mismo y nunca lo sera otra vez.
No puedo creer k lo k tanto anhele tener entre mis brazos, el sentimiento fue el opuesto para mis emociones k en ese momento fueron nulas. Ansiaba tenerle entre mis brazos sentir su piel contra la mia, pero despues de tanto tiempo mis sentimientos han cambiado, de hecho al verle no senti esa coskilla en la panza, las ansias lokas de abrazarle, sencillamente no fueron las mismas k yo me habia imaginado. Sera por k no confio en el?, no puedo kitarme la idea de k ha estado con alguien mas, en sus ojos ya no siento esa calma k me transportaba a otro mundo.
Durante la noche no concilie el sueno, solo pensaba en que si realmente eso era lo que deseaba tener en mi vida? si acaso esto se volveria solo el encuentro ocasional entre dos "strangers" solo por no sentirse solo?, k mas da estar con el si ya no siento lo mismo? para que seguir detiendome en aire ligero?.
En fin no pude ni kedarme mas tiempo con el, tenia k salir y gritar, repirar... le volvi a ver por la tarde solo para reafirmar k ya no somos lo k soliamos ser.... el ya no se pierde en mis miradas, ya no puedo sentir que la noche es eterna.
Le hable despues del club pero yo sabia k no deberia hacerlo, algo me dice k estaba con alguien mas, me senti furioso, pero me trankilize y solo kise dormir. Por la manana ya no me sentia tan mal, y no lo hago ahora, es lo k me siento confundido de no saber para donde mirar o solo seguir adelante en este camino k no esta destinado para ambos. Ya no es lo mismo y nunca lo sera otra vez.
23.3.10
MinD tRIp (dEntal SurGery)
Wow I'm having a mind trip with the pills and shit... YAY!!!!
I had my tooth surgery yesterday, man was so bloody and crazy, they took 45 min to take it off... the dentist was "wrestling" with my tooth.... they had to crushed it that way it was more easy to get it out. After 6 injections of "anesthesia" the pain went away.
After the surgery I was feeling pain, a lot of pain... good thing Maria and David took me to the clinic!!!! anyway, I've got home and I'd took like 30000 pills for the pain, it was insufferable, when I'd tried to eat I was bleeding, damn those hours were horrible.... I took a nap and the pain was gone but after it came back
even harder.... I took the pills... mind trip... and I went to bed...I had a great nite sleep, well just @ 3:20 am Dann texted me.... it was cute the way he woke me up.... anyway.... so today I was doing nothing. My face looks like a Chipmunk, is hard to talk, easy to eat(oatmeal, mashed potatoes). I feel a lil bit better but not sure to going to work tomorrow.
My sick day was so lazy......
Ps, thanks to all the people who cares about me, thanks for the text and calls, also IM....
Wow I'm having a mind trip with the pills and shit... YAY!!!!
I had my tooth surgery yesterday, man was so bloody and crazy, they took 45 min to take it off... the dentist was "wrestling" with my tooth.... they had to crushed it that way it was more easy to get it out. After 6 injections of "anesthesia" the pain went away.
After the surgery I was feeling pain, a lot of pain... good thing Maria and David took me to the clinic!!!! anyway, I've got home and I'd took like 30000 pills for the pain, it was insufferable, when I'd tried to eat I was bleeding, damn those hours were horrible.... I took a nap and the pain was gone but after it came back
even harder.... I took the pills... mind trip... and I went to bed...I had a great nite sleep, well just @ 3:20 am Dann texted me.... it was cute the way he woke me up.... anyway.... so today I was doing nothing. My face looks like a Chipmunk, is hard to talk, easy to eat(oatmeal, mashed potatoes). I feel a lil bit better but not sure to going to work tomorrow.
My sick day was so lazy......
Ps, thanks to all the people who cares about me, thanks for the text and calls, also IM....
21.3.10
sTiLl?
I'm still dealing with P. is so hard to leave my feelings on the side and just keep going, I'd ran away from my feelings so many times, so this time I don't wanna do it, but @ what price? the price to be sad and crying for P. being depressed almost everyday, just waiting for the answer falling out from the sky, I have to do something about it, honestly I'm getting sick of this every fucking day, the mini dramas, the bad feelings, the anger, the madness, the emptiness, the loneliness... all those are killing me slowly.... dunno for how long can keep doing this.
I want P. in my life but then I don't want P. in my life. I love P. one second then I hate P. for days, I want to hear P's voice and then when I've got it, can't take it anymore.... So I'm in limbo just rite in the middle... I miss P. next to me, but can't trust him @ all, his words are like a bunch of lies in my head, but how I can't take all this feelings away?.
I hope can find the switch to turn it off.... but I can't be without P, but can't be with P... there's is the dilemma.
I'am the only one to get out of this so I know I want too, but I don't know how.
"Slipped Away" by Avril Lavigne
Na na, na na na, na na
I miss you, miss you so bad
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Ooooh
Na na na na na na na
I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't
Oooooh
I hope you can hear me cause I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Ooooh
I had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why
And I can't take it
It wasn't fake
It happened, you passed by
Now you are gone, now you are gone
There you go, there you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back
Now you are gone, now you are gone
There you go, there you go,
Somewhere your not coming back
The day you slipped away
Was the day i found it won't be the same noo..
The day you slipped away
Was the day that i found it won't be the same oooh...
Na na, na na na, na na
I miss you
I'm still dealing with P. is so hard to leave my feelings on the side and just keep going, I'd ran away from my feelings so many times, so this time I don't wanna do it, but @ what price? the price to be sad and crying for P. being depressed almost everyday, just waiting for the answer falling out from the sky, I have to do something about it, honestly I'm getting sick of this every fucking day, the mini dramas, the bad feelings, the anger, the madness, the emptiness, the loneliness... all those are killing me slowly.... dunno for how long can keep doing this.
I want P. in my life but then I don't want P. in my life. I love P. one second then I hate P. for days, I want to hear P's voice and then when I've got it, can't take it anymore.... So I'm in limbo just rite in the middle... I miss P. next to me, but can't trust him @ all, his words are like a bunch of lies in my head, but how I can't take all this feelings away?.
I hope can find the switch to turn it off.... but I can't be without P, but can't be with P... there's is the dilemma.
I'am the only one to get out of this so I know I want too, but I don't know how.
"Slipped Away" by Avril Lavigne
Na na, na na na, na na
I miss you, miss you so bad
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Ooooh
Na na na na na na na
I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't
Oooooh
I hope you can hear me cause I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Ooooh
I had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why
And I can't take it
It wasn't fake
It happened, you passed by
Now you are gone, now you are gone
There you go, there you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back
Now you are gone, now you are gone
There you go, there you go,
Somewhere your not coming back
The day you slipped away
Was the day i found it won't be the same noo..
The day you slipped away
Was the day that i found it won't be the same oooh...
Na na, na na na, na na
I miss you
16.3.10
hOlDing iN thin Air
I'm still hearing your voice
whispering my name
every night next to the moon
is just fate
going against the clock
seeing the sky getting bigger
running away from the light
such a phobia
Breathing the last memory of you
the line who divide heaven from hell
is strong to keep me away
in the road to get the truth
just I'm asking you
to stay away from me
I can't think about you loving me
U were all that I wanted
all that tough I need
somehow you still
but like the rain evaporates
I have to take you away
away from my heart
I feel like holding on thin air
can't breath with you next to me
everything is falling around
just holding
and breathing this thin air
is invisible but it feels blue
sometimes red
I can't be without you
but can't be with you
is hard to understand.
I know you so well
but too much to take
just leave me where I'm
I don't need your hand
want to be who I was
who I was before you came along
the time keeps runing
is my turn to take back
all the broken promises and the broken dreams
I feel like holding on thin air
can't breath with you next to me
everything is falling around
just holding
and breathing this thin air
is invisible but it feels blue
sometimes red
New hit writen by ME...
I'm still hearing your voice
whispering my name
every night next to the moon
is just fate
going against the clock
seeing the sky getting bigger
running away from the light
such a phobia
Breathing the last memory of you
the line who divide heaven from hell
is strong to keep me away
in the road to get the truth
just I'm asking you
to stay away from me
I can't think about you loving me
U were all that I wanted
all that tough I need
somehow you still
but like the rain evaporates
I have to take you away
away from my heart
I feel like holding on thin air
can't breath with you next to me
everything is falling around
just holding
and breathing this thin air
is invisible but it feels blue
sometimes red
I can't be without you
but can't be with you
is hard to understand.
I know you so well
but too much to take
just leave me where I'm
I don't need your hand
want to be who I was
who I was before you came along
the time keeps runing
is my turn to take back
all the broken promises and the broken dreams
I feel like holding on thin air
can't breath with you next to me
everything is falling around
just holding
and breathing this thin air
is invisible but it feels blue
sometimes red
New hit writen by ME...
14.3.10
sAy gOoDbYe....4eV3r?
I say goodbye to you, bc I can't deal with this rite now, is so hard for me just wondering If we can be together, wondering when is gonna be the day you'll decided if you want me in ur life.
U ask me to be friends, but how we can be friend with all the history behind us? Is gonna take me a while 'till I'll be able to look at you and left my feelings on the side, I need to find the lost pieces of myself, I'm broken, without nothing left. I'm standing in the dark while u having fun going out, meeting people, maybe one of those guys can give you what u want, I don't have any feelings for you rite now.
Every cell of my is dead inside my heart, ur ghost is haunting me every day, every fucking minute of the day, I'm so tired to live like this.
It doesen't matter what u say, can't believe in any of your words, u said that U care about me, but tell me how? U never call or text... so I'm giving up on you forever, is nothing left to try or rescue. I want to be able to be myself again, without thinking of u. Without you in my life is the only way to get to the other side.
I don't wanna get into details but rite now u are nothing for me, just a stranger who broke my heart twice in less than a year... goodbye P.
How do you always know what I will say?
You seem to know me in the clearest way
I want to run and hide, keep you from finding me
You shouldn’t see, what is my mystery
But with the timing right
It could be paradise
To do this now
Would not be right
I was just fine, yes I was fine I thought
I didn’t think that I would get so lost
To have and not to hold and to pretend I’m cold
It is a lie because I melt every time
And with the timing right
It could be paradise
To do this now
Would not be right
So stay away from me
You’re better off to stay as far from lovin' me
Just stay a fantasy
In the dark, in the night and in my dreams
And with the timing right
It could be paradise
To do this now
Would not be right
So stay away from me
Stay away from me
So stay away from me
You're better off to stay as far from lovin' me
Just stay a fantasy
In the dark, in the night and in my dreams
So stay away from me
You're better off to stay as far from lovin' me
So stay a fantasy
In the dark, in the night and in my dreams
So stay away from me
You're better off to stay as far from lovin' me
Just stay a fantasy
In the dark, in the night
In the dark, in the night
and in my dreams
Fantasy by Nadia Ali
I say goodbye to you, bc I can't deal with this rite now, is so hard for me just wondering If we can be together, wondering when is gonna be the day you'll decided if you want me in ur life.
U ask me to be friends, but how we can be friend with all the history behind us? Is gonna take me a while 'till I'll be able to look at you and left my feelings on the side, I need to find the lost pieces of myself, I'm broken, without nothing left. I'm standing in the dark while u having fun going out, meeting people, maybe one of those guys can give you what u want, I don't have any feelings for you rite now.
Every cell of my is dead inside my heart, ur ghost is haunting me every day, every fucking minute of the day, I'm so tired to live like this.
It doesen't matter what u say, can't believe in any of your words, u said that U care about me, but tell me how? U never call or text... so I'm giving up on you forever, is nothing left to try or rescue. I want to be able to be myself again, without thinking of u. Without you in my life is the only way to get to the other side.
I don't wanna get into details but rite now u are nothing for me, just a stranger who broke my heart twice in less than a year... goodbye P.
How do you always know what I will say?
You seem to know me in the clearest way
I want to run and hide, keep you from finding me
You shouldn’t see, what is my mystery
But with the timing right
It could be paradise
To do this now
Would not be right
I was just fine, yes I was fine I thought
I didn’t think that I would get so lost
To have and not to hold and to pretend I’m cold
It is a lie because I melt every time
And with the timing right
It could be paradise
To do this now
Would not be right
So stay away from me
You’re better off to stay as far from lovin' me
Just stay a fantasy
In the dark, in the night and in my dreams
And with the timing right
It could be paradise
To do this now
Would not be right
So stay away from me
Stay away from me
So stay away from me
You're better off to stay as far from lovin' me
Just stay a fantasy
In the dark, in the night and in my dreams
So stay away from me
You're better off to stay as far from lovin' me
So stay a fantasy
In the dark, in the night and in my dreams
So stay away from me
You're better off to stay as far from lovin' me
Just stay a fantasy
In the dark, in the night
In the dark, in the night
and in my dreams
Fantasy by Nadia Ali
9.3.10
RolLeRCoAsTEr
Going up and down
in this way to live
just taking the leap
to figure out where I'm
is taking me into the rain
the drops falling at my face
I'm feeling pain
electricity thru my veins
Finding the wishes
I had for long time
the simplicity of a dream
can I reach the unseen?
eloquence in this trip
never
just hanging here for a while
'till I'm back on time
hear my voice
even the air is taking it away
how I'm supposed to breath?
But like I heard
life is a rollercoaster
a parallel graphic in the universe
sometimes a monster
feeding from my soul
I seen
life like a rollercoaster
hit the break to stop the trial
let me jump thru the rain
where's the end?
life like a rollercoaster
Is me versus me
having to take this inner fight
figuring out what is real
so close too far
too far to be so close
Going south
is taking me down
I need to take control
over the emotions
to get thru the final leap
is the only way
hit the brake once again
the rain keeps falling
Life is a rollercoaster
a graphic novel in the universe
but became monster
leave my broken soul
I feel life like a rollercoaster
can I save myself from me?
life
roller-coaster
feeling
let this go
run
fly
roller-coaster
Going up and down
in this way to live
just taking the leap
to figure out where I'm
is taking me into the rain
the drops falling at my face
I'm feeling pain
electricity thru my veins
Finding the wishes
I had for long time
the simplicity of a dream
can I reach the unseen?
eloquence in this trip
never
just hanging here for a while
'till I'm back on time
hear my voice
even the air is taking it away
how I'm supposed to breath?
But like I heard
life is a rollercoaster
a parallel graphic in the universe
sometimes a monster
feeding from my soul
I seen
life like a rollercoaster
hit the break to stop the trial
let me jump thru the rain
where's the end?
life like a rollercoaster
Is me versus me
having to take this inner fight
figuring out what is real
so close too far
too far to be so close
Going south
is taking me down
I need to take control
over the emotions
to get thru the final leap
is the only way
hit the brake once again
the rain keeps falling
Life is a rollercoaster
a graphic novel in the universe
but became monster
leave my broken soul
I feel life like a rollercoaster
can I save myself from me?
life
roller-coaster
feeling
let this go
run
fly
roller-coaster
8.3.10
sUgAr sUbStiTuTioN
How hard is to find some cheap replacement for someone? So easy also so destructive, that;s why I've decided to erase my profile from MH, I was lying to myself trying to find something unreal and completely meaningless... I don't really want that, I don't need that... is gonna hurt me even more.
I want time to heal, time to think what do I really want to do with my heart. I promise myself to don't let anyone hurt me again but P did really bad, so is gonna take me a while to trust in someone or even going out in a date. My body is gonna ask for sex (so sure on that) maybe in that case I will think about being with someone just for that(I will think about it really hard).
So this is my way to calm down...
How hard is to find some cheap replacement for someone? So easy also so destructive, that;s why I've decided to erase my profile from MH, I was lying to myself trying to find something unreal and completely meaningless... I don't really want that, I don't need that... is gonna hurt me even more.
I want time to heal, time to think what do I really want to do with my heart. I promise myself to don't let anyone hurt me again but P did really bad, so is gonna take me a while to trust in someone or even going out in a date. My body is gonna ask for sex (so sure on that) maybe in that case I will think about being with someone just for that(I will think about it really hard).
So this is my way to calm down...
6.3.10
AnotHer NiTe, AnoTher dReaM(buT iS alWayS yoU)
Another nite... U were there wanting more from me, but what I'm supposed to do? pretending that everything is fine, It was weird feeling your arms around me, I was dying a couple days before to have them, but now I don't know you anymore!!!! U were drunk, telling me is the only thing that U can do to avoid the problems, seeing you all fucked up it hurts like hell. U keep blaming me for the past, like I said "If U wanna live your life like that, go ahead I refuse to keep doing this", Then just let me go, stop dragging me to your hole... set me free, if that means forgetting about me; my number, my email, my fb, everything, it doesn't really matter everything is dying inside, Stay away from me, I'm getting sick of this game, one day u need me and wanna be with me and the next day I'm the worse person in the world! This is becoming crazy and a destructive relationship, even we aren't together.
Right now I dunno what to think about you, I've seeing so many faces of you... and is no one to buy... for how long are you going to punish me?, U really love me? how can I trust in ur actions? Why u don't wanna face the truth?, what is going on with you? Why u act in some way on front of the people when I'm not there and then U change completly when I'm there? U've been faking ur love?, why you doing this to me?
Who do you think you are to smash things in my face even u provoked a lot of 'em? give me a reason to keep holding on to this?...
My Sister gave me two options to fix this situation:
1.- Ask P, if wants to keep in touch is cool, but no feelings involved, is not fair for both talking about 'em. Be clear and respectful.
2.- Ask P to leave you alone for ever... it need to erase you completly, U need to do the same.
Basically those are the more reasonble options, I dunno wich one I can handle better. I'm a fucking mess rite now.... I can't be with you, but I can't be without you!
Si no puedo estar contigo
ya no puedo estar sin ti
cada vez se hace mas duro el ser feliz
Y me sigue rodeando
la sombra de ti
Y sigue rodeando por ahi
todas las palabras que dijimos
y los besos que nos dimos
como siempre hoy estoy pensando en ti
Sombra de ti By Shakira
Another nite... U were there wanting more from me, but what I'm supposed to do? pretending that everything is fine, It was weird feeling your arms around me, I was dying a couple days before to have them, but now I don't know you anymore!!!! U were drunk, telling me is the only thing that U can do to avoid the problems, seeing you all fucked up it hurts like hell. U keep blaming me for the past, like I said "If U wanna live your life like that, go ahead I refuse to keep doing this", Then just let me go, stop dragging me to your hole... set me free, if that means forgetting about me; my number, my email, my fb, everything, it doesn't really matter everything is dying inside, Stay away from me, I'm getting sick of this game, one day u need me and wanna be with me and the next day I'm the worse person in the world! This is becoming crazy and a destructive relationship, even we aren't together.
Right now I dunno what to think about you, I've seeing so many faces of you... and is no one to buy... for how long are you going to punish me?, U really love me? how can I trust in ur actions? Why u don't wanna face the truth?, what is going on with you? Why u act in some way on front of the people when I'm not there and then U change completly when I'm there? U've been faking ur love?, why you doing this to me?
Who do you think you are to smash things in my face even u provoked a lot of 'em? give me a reason to keep holding on to this?...
My Sister gave me two options to fix this situation:
1.- Ask P, if wants to keep in touch is cool, but no feelings involved, is not fair for both talking about 'em. Be clear and respectful.
2.- Ask P to leave you alone for ever... it need to erase you completly, U need to do the same.
Basically those are the more reasonble options, I dunno wich one I can handle better. I'm a fucking mess rite now.... I can't be with you, but I can't be without you!
Si no puedo estar contigo
ya no puedo estar sin ti
cada vez se hace mas duro el ser feliz
Y me sigue rodeando
la sombra de ti
Y sigue rodeando por ahi
todas las palabras que dijimos
y los besos que nos dimos
como siempre hoy estoy pensando en ti
Sombra de ti By Shakira
4.3.10
2.3.10
HoW?.... wHy mE?
I'm getting back to basics, like five years ago, rediscovering myself in the single side... It has been a long time since the last time I was single for a more than 2 months. This happen to me around 3 years ago. After all this time, dating, having relationships, some good experiences and really bad experiences. But at the end(this point) I'm strong enough to be by myself, enjoying my freedom, doing whatever I wanna do without any worry about hurting who ever was with me... Is not a easy feeling to develop, some days still struggling with it.
I miss P like crazy but It doesn't hurt like before... learning how to deal with all this without affecting myself in the process.
Freedom vs love, who is gonna WIN?
I'm getting back to basics, like five years ago, rediscovering myself in the single side... It has been a long time since the last time I was single for a more than 2 months. This happen to me around 3 years ago. After all this time, dating, having relationships, some good experiences and really bad experiences. But at the end(this point) I'm strong enough to be by myself, enjoying my freedom, doing whatever I wanna do without any worry about hurting who ever was with me... Is not a easy feeling to develop, some days still struggling with it.
I miss P like crazy but It doesn't hurt like before... learning how to deal with all this without affecting myself in the process.
Freedom vs love, who is gonna WIN?
1.3.10
My CaR!!! mY LiFe(rEconEcTinG)
I'm getting sick of my car every time is something different, I gues it wasn't a good idea change the engine, now is acting worse.... It won't start rite away, then is shaking all the time, what else can happen to me with that car?
Btw yesterday I wento to Karyna's to get the movie from the XV, well I left the keys inside the car, so fucked up!!! NEgro and Hector tried to open it but even they'are cheap gansters they didn't.... Anyway Lucio was the MAN who opens my car, was awesome.... Even Sam and DD went to gave the extra set of keys but either one worked... Also I had flat tired on saturday.... I need a "limpia" for real with my car....
After two year I talked to my mom, was so cool, almost made me cry, but I don't want tears on my life anymore, I'd faced that demon that was haunting me for so long... like my aunt told me " They dont going to change, u are the only one who's gonna do it, so accept them the way they are, is all you can do" I didn't bring the past bc nothing gonna change it, if we start fresh is gonna be great. She was so happy to hear me, I gave to her a lil "resumen" about my life the last 2 years and that I need more contact with my family to heal those wounds, I have to admit I've been needing my mom all this time, we don't agre in too much things but we have to respect each other. I want to be happy with myself and the people who cares about me... I dont need a relationship to be complete. I'm so happy today with my life..
Trapped in the rhythm of life
Nothing seems to color my path
I’m in a web of confusion
Chasing my own tail... round... and round
I need to push away this madness
I gotta find the way out
With all my dreams and illusions
Waiting just to break out and fly...
I see what’s waiting for me
On the other side
It’s time to follow
All the passion in my heart
I’m standing on the sun with
Nothing else to hide
I’m ready,
Finally I see the other side
There is no more room for darkness
Allow the light to come in
You have to fight all the shadows
You gotta break out and fight
I heard it over and over
If you get caught up in the feeling again
With all your dreams and illusions
There is no reason to stop.
I see what’s waiting for me
On the other side
It’s time to follow
All the passion in my heart
I’m standing on the sun with
Nothing else to hide
I’m ready...
Finally I see the other side
The Other Side by Fey
I'm getting sick of my car every time is something different, I gues it wasn't a good idea change the engine, now is acting worse.... It won't start rite away, then is shaking all the time, what else can happen to me with that car?
Btw yesterday I wento to Karyna's to get the movie from the XV, well I left the keys inside the car, so fucked up!!! NEgro and Hector tried to open it but even they'are cheap gansters they didn't.... Anyway Lucio was the MAN who opens my car, was awesome.... Even Sam and DD went to gave the extra set of keys but either one worked... Also I had flat tired on saturday.... I need a "limpia" for real with my car....
After two year I talked to my mom, was so cool, almost made me cry, but I don't want tears on my life anymore, I'd faced that demon that was haunting me for so long... like my aunt told me " They dont going to change, u are the only one who's gonna do it, so accept them the way they are, is all you can do" I didn't bring the past bc nothing gonna change it, if we start fresh is gonna be great. She was so happy to hear me, I gave to her a lil "resumen" about my life the last 2 years and that I need more contact with my family to heal those wounds, I have to admit I've been needing my mom all this time, we don't agre in too much things but we have to respect each other. I want to be happy with myself and the people who cares about me... I dont need a relationship to be complete. I'm so happy today with my life..
Trapped in the rhythm of life
Nothing seems to color my path
I’m in a web of confusion
Chasing my own tail... round... and round
I need to push away this madness
I gotta find the way out
With all my dreams and illusions
Waiting just to break out and fly...
I see what’s waiting for me
On the other side
It’s time to follow
All the passion in my heart
I’m standing on the sun with
Nothing else to hide
I’m ready,
Finally I see the other side
There is no more room for darkness
Allow the light to come in
You have to fight all the shadows
You gotta break out and fight
I heard it over and over
If you get caught up in the feeling again
With all your dreams and illusions
There is no reason to stop.
I see what’s waiting for me
On the other side
It’s time to follow
All the passion in my heart
I’m standing on the sun with
Nothing else to hide
I’m ready...
Finally I see the other side
The Other Side by Fey
28.2.10
27.2.10
It Don'T maTtEr
Taking one step at the time
watching the hours going by
breathing the thick air around
suddenly I seen myself in the dark
once again is because you pulling me back
something echoes your words
You don't trust in me
but how I can trust in you?
The next step maybe is wait
watching you running side to side
tapping my feelings into your heart
for how long I have to be here?
casting a spell perhaps
walking in circles for quite some time
catching the dreams in the stairs
whether is wrong or right
how can I tell you
how much you mean for me
If you don't wanna hear
After a while
I will need to step ahead
taking a jump between limbo and paradise
what's the name of that place?
you said to me one day
I will love you no matter what
can you say it now
Getting closer to the exit
so much hours I've been wishing
the exact moment when you will find me
the picture in my head seems so different
it don't matter now
because you and I
we are touching the sky.
Your arms will be around
my soul has been missing you
look at me and say
we gonna be together
'till the end of time
One last step to take
erasing memories from ourselves
maybe we can trust in this feeling
with no fear...
it don't matter how long it takes
but seems this fairy tale it has a happy end.
A song inspired by You...
Taking one step at the time
watching the hours going by
breathing the thick air around
suddenly I seen myself in the dark
once again is because you pulling me back
something echoes your words
You don't trust in me
but how I can trust in you?
The next step maybe is wait
watching you running side to side
tapping my feelings into your heart
for how long I have to be here?
casting a spell perhaps
walking in circles for quite some time
catching the dreams in the stairs
whether is wrong or right
how can I tell you
how much you mean for me
If you don't wanna hear
After a while
I will need to step ahead
taking a jump between limbo and paradise
what's the name of that place?
you said to me one day
I will love you no matter what
can you say it now
Getting closer to the exit
so much hours I've been wishing
the exact moment when you will find me
the picture in my head seems so different
it don't matter now
because you and I
we are touching the sky.
Your arms will be around
my soul has been missing you
look at me and say
we gonna be together
'till the end of time
One last step to take
erasing memories from ourselves
maybe we can trust in this feeling
with no fear...
it don't matter how long it takes
but seems this fairy tale it has a happy end.
A song inspired by You...
BaCk AgIan wHeRe AlL bEgUn
I'm again in these four walls but it doesn't feel like dying, my madness is no t mad like I'd thought it would be. I told people what happen between U and I, they were surprised for my reaction, being so calm and cool with ur decision.
Yesterday I wanted to hang out with Alex, but sometimes his comments are so inappropriate, driving me nuts. Alsi his gf broke up with him, he's down like every other day, honestly I'm a lil down too so if we do the math: his pain + mine = depression and disaster. Today I will continue with my history(Darkest Dream) hopefully I will write at least 2 more chapters.
So everything falls into place... Is weird how my heart and mind are synchronized this time, both are telling me to let go and keep going, that's what I call "The perfect song".
Anyway I will love you but I dont need you.
I'm again in these four walls but it doesn't feel like dying, my madness is no t mad like I'd thought it would be. I told people what happen between U and I, they were surprised for my reaction, being so calm and cool with ur decision.
Yesterday I wanted to hang out with Alex, but sometimes his comments are so inappropriate, driving me nuts. Alsi his gf broke up with him, he's down like every other day, honestly I'm a lil down too so if we do the math: his pain + mine = depression and disaster. Today I will continue with my history(Darkest Dream) hopefully I will write at least 2 more chapters.
So everything falls into place... Is weird how my heart and mind are synchronized this time, both are telling me to let go and keep going, that's what I call "The perfect song".
Anyway I will love you but I dont need you.
26.2.10
KnOwinG... tAkinG tHe riSk
Part of me it knew we gonna end like this again, this time a lil bit different, I'm not crying, bc my heart was prepare for this, since the first day we've back together I'd felt u were hiding something, also something was pulling you back... avoiding the "we are together again" conversation. At least it took you less than 2 weeks to tell me truth about what u feeling. I'm not mad, actually I don't have any feelings rite now but my love for you.
I bet my wings for your heart, but we don't trust each other @ all. U don't believe in my word, I don't believe in ur actions. So is not much what we can do.
U were crying and crying, bc u need to find ur inner peace, u are so messed up at the moment, leave the fears on the side, take the risk(if you want) to find real love, maybe with me, with someone else, but as long u are happy I'll be happy for you.
You said U are a disappointment, I said NO U AREN'T, then u said wait a couple days and U'll see. Well I'm not disappoint because I knew this gonna happen, the fairy tale has an end, for you and I; is being apart. You are young, u don't wanna face the problems one by one, everything spin around in your crazy head, like I told you: U need to separate everything and solve every problem separately. But I need to keep going without you, I'm not a waiter, I don't want another relationship, rite now I need to be alone again, but I will not put myself in the bucket again, it took me a month to get out. Already learn how to live my life without you.
I'd promise you I will give you time, take all that u need, that's what u need, but time is the thing I don't have(U know why). No emails, no text, no phone calls, I will do that bc I love you, that never gonna change, no matter where I'm. U'd make me believe in love again, but U have to grow up and deal with ur demons, I can't be with you being like this, just wondering every day.
I took the risk to be with you, I don't regret it but I wish I didn't.... but is late now the hours are passing by telling me to run... that's my demon rite now
If you ask me, I will say it
You make me smile, it's contagious
And in your eyes, I can see it
Cause your heart is the greatest
[Chorus :]
I can't be without you
So don't go anywhere
You show me love like no one else
Has done yet
And with the road ahead
This is the beginning
Of this love story
Of this love story
[Verse 2:]
When I'm with you, I am taken
With the feeling that you've been chosen
What a longing, it's the best thing
In a long time I'm not broken
And I can't be without you
So don't go anywhere
You show me love like no one else
Has done yet
And with the road ahead
This is the beginning
Of this love story
Of this love story
Love Story by Nadia Ali
Part of me it knew we gonna end like this again, this time a lil bit different, I'm not crying, bc my heart was prepare for this, since the first day we've back together I'd felt u were hiding something, also something was pulling you back... avoiding the "we are together again" conversation. At least it took you less than 2 weeks to tell me truth about what u feeling. I'm not mad, actually I don't have any feelings rite now but my love for you.
I bet my wings for your heart, but we don't trust each other @ all. U don't believe in my word, I don't believe in ur actions. So is not much what we can do.
U were crying and crying, bc u need to find ur inner peace, u are so messed up at the moment, leave the fears on the side, take the risk(if you want) to find real love, maybe with me, with someone else, but as long u are happy I'll be happy for you.
You said U are a disappointment, I said NO U AREN'T, then u said wait a couple days and U'll see. Well I'm not disappoint because I knew this gonna happen, the fairy tale has an end, for you and I; is being apart. You are young, u don't wanna face the problems one by one, everything spin around in your crazy head, like I told you: U need to separate everything and solve every problem separately. But I need to keep going without you, I'm not a waiter, I don't want another relationship, rite now I need to be alone again, but I will not put myself in the bucket again, it took me a month to get out. Already learn how to live my life without you.
I'd promise you I will give you time, take all that u need, that's what u need, but time is the thing I don't have(U know why). No emails, no text, no phone calls, I will do that bc I love you, that never gonna change, no matter where I'm. U'd make me believe in love again, but U have to grow up and deal with ur demons, I can't be with you being like this, just wondering every day.
I took the risk to be with you, I don't regret it but I wish I didn't.... but is late now the hours are passing by telling me to run... that's my demon rite now
If you ask me, I will say it
You make me smile, it's contagious
And in your eyes, I can see it
Cause your heart is the greatest
[Chorus :]
I can't be without you
So don't go anywhere
You show me love like no one else
Has done yet
And with the road ahead
This is the beginning
Of this love story
Of this love story
[Verse 2:]
When I'm with you, I am taken
With the feeling that you've been chosen
What a longing, it's the best thing
In a long time I'm not broken
And I can't be without you
So don't go anywhere
You show me love like no one else
Has done yet
And with the road ahead
This is the beginning
Of this love story
Of this love story
Love Story by Nadia Ali
17.2.10
sO hAppY, sO sCaRe
Im so happy to be with you again, after the month of hell, finally everything back to place, I hope this time for long... I love you can't deny, otherwise I don't have nothing to lose again.... Is gonna be a hard work for both... we are trying everyday to get better, trusting each other.
Saturday was a great day for me, I was with my family, celebrating Sam's bday...so awesome, my aunt was talking to me again after 3 weeks... so everything was running smooth.
But back to basiscs. A long email was writen for me to you, without any expectations I sent it to you, it took me 2 hours to write it down, was clear, direct, honest, showing the real me, like you said: " The Gyo who wrote that, is the one that I love", then I was reading ur answer, the u called me, my heart was beating so fast,the love ran thru my veins when I'd heard ur voice. U were crying, I was so calm. Then u said: "I'm sorry to let you go, u are the one that I love, can't be without you anymore, this month it has been a hell". Since that moment I knew we can try it again, even I don't believe in second chances, let's not run away this time. I wanna show you how big is my love for you, learning from all the mistake I've made, like I said before: " I can't do anything to change the past, but I'm so able and willing to give you a better present".
After dinner, after the club(was awesome btw), wanted to see you... so that's why I was @ ur door @ 3 am just to kiss you and feel ur sweet touch...
FORWARD>>>>>
Valentine's Day
I was so exited to see you again and celebrate V day, with you, so we had a romantic date(not like I'd plan) but we were together. Movie and dinner was the plan but the Movie was great Percy Jackson and the Olympians, like child enjoying the presentation. U are my sexy beast my fave dark chocolate, my addiction... I love you... so we keep it real.
I see we gonna make it ROCK'S.....
btw with Scare I mean, scare to loose you again but my fears are behind...
I find the map and draw a straight line
Over rivers, farms, and state lines
The distance from 'A' to where you'd be
It's only finger-lengths Jobby that I see
I touch the place where I'd find your face
My finger in creases of distant dark places
I hang my coat up in the first bar
There is no peace that I've found so far
The laughter penetrates my silence
As drunken men find flaws in science
Their words mostly noises
Ghosts with just voices
Your words in my memory
Are like music to me
I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms
After I have travelled so far
We'd set the fire to the third bar
We'd share each other like an island
Until exhausted, close our eyelids
And dreaming, pick up from
The last place we left off
Your soft skin is weeping
A joy you can't keep in
I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
And I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms
I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
and I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms
Set the fire to the third bar by Snow Patrol.
Im so happy to be with you again, after the month of hell, finally everything back to place, I hope this time for long... I love you can't deny, otherwise I don't have nothing to lose again.... Is gonna be a hard work for both... we are trying everyday to get better, trusting each other.
Saturday was a great day for me, I was with my family, celebrating Sam's bday...so awesome, my aunt was talking to me again after 3 weeks... so everything was running smooth.
But back to basiscs. A long email was writen for me to you, without any expectations I sent it to you, it took me 2 hours to write it down, was clear, direct, honest, showing the real me, like you said: " The Gyo who wrote that, is the one that I love", then I was reading ur answer, the u called me, my heart was beating so fast,the love ran thru my veins when I'd heard ur voice. U were crying, I was so calm. Then u said: "I'm sorry to let you go, u are the one that I love, can't be without you anymore, this month it has been a hell". Since that moment I knew we can try it again, even I don't believe in second chances, let's not run away this time. I wanna show you how big is my love for you, learning from all the mistake I've made, like I said before: " I can't do anything to change the past, but I'm so able and willing to give you a better present".
After dinner, after the club(was awesome btw), wanted to see you... so that's why I was @ ur door @ 3 am just to kiss you and feel ur sweet touch...
FORWARD>>>>>
Valentine's Day
I was so exited to see you again and celebrate V day, with you, so we had a romantic date(not like I'd plan) but we were together. Movie and dinner was the plan but the Movie was great Percy Jackson and the Olympians, like child enjoying the presentation. U are my sexy beast my fave dark chocolate, my addiction... I love you... so we keep it real.
I see we gonna make it ROCK'S.....
btw with Scare I mean, scare to loose you again but my fears are behind...
I find the map and draw a straight line
Over rivers, farms, and state lines
The distance from 'A' to where you'd be
It's only finger-lengths Jobby that I see
I touch the place where I'd find your face
My finger in creases of distant dark places
I hang my coat up in the first bar
There is no peace that I've found so far
The laughter penetrates my silence
As drunken men find flaws in science
Their words mostly noises
Ghosts with just voices
Your words in my memory
Are like music to me
I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms
After I have travelled so far
We'd set the fire to the third bar
We'd share each other like an island
Until exhausted, close our eyelids
And dreaming, pick up from
The last place we left off
Your soft skin is weeping
A joy you can't keep in
I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
And I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms
I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
and I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms
Set the fire to the third bar by Snow Patrol.
10.2.10
BaCk in ThE rOad...AgaIn?
Yes, hardly to admit, well not that hard, heehaw. I have a new profile in the sex website, nothing really change these last 4 weeks, same people thinking they're the last coke in the desert. I'm hunting my next victim, still don't believe in love, don't need that is just waste of time, energy, money, feelings so forget it.
I was online for a while but I've got bored after an hour or two, nothing really interesting. Guessing I'm healing now...after Saturday drama, realized that is no reason to stop breathing for you. I love you, but should be crazy to back with you, nothing is gonna change. Last nite you saw me "haunting" then U send me an email, u contradict yourself, u want me but u don't want to spend time with me, U are tired to people talking to you but U still getting online!!! you love me but you want ur freedom, U already have it, what else do you want from me? I'm not that stupid to understand ur game so, I'd set you free... doesn't really matter. I don't want you in a cage, that's how you felt all this time, is so sad, u have the goats to blame me for this. Like you didn't anything wrong, it was ur turn enjoy it cuz we don't know how long is gonna last. I guess being a couple means just u and I, but I see you have a different idea about. I don't need an open relationship, that's stupid for me, we are in, or ,we are out of the relationship. Is that simple.
This is getting clear...so it doesn't hurt like I'd thought. I don't even reply ur email is nothing left, so tell me what's the point to start from scratch like you said, if we love each other but we can't be together, is not ZERO in this... so let this die with the nite. Is already dead.
Goodbye P.
Staying here for you
not held been I was crying
something asking not to do
thru my whole life
What did I ever listen
to your promises
When nothing changing
you and all the lies you said
These I leave all uses
nothing but the same
face the truth
you can't control my faith
No more lies
is painful to me
but I'm free at last
No more lies
no fear, no silence
now part of the past
Seems like that all your words
fear, has come crushing down
is seeking me to see
how little you are now
I'd never find myself
standing again right here
where I couldn't breath
before goes now I have no fear
Uh you take the pain
you'd gave when I was there
I doubt you have the strange to spare
Never again
will I be there like I was there for you before
now nothing is the same
cuz gone is the pain
not care with the blame
cuz gone is the pain
No More Lies By Fey
Yes, hardly to admit, well not that hard, heehaw. I have a new profile in the sex website, nothing really change these last 4 weeks, same people thinking they're the last coke in the desert. I'm hunting my next victim, still don't believe in love, don't need that is just waste of time, energy, money, feelings so forget it.
I was online for a while but I've got bored after an hour or two, nothing really interesting. Guessing I'm healing now...after Saturday drama, realized that is no reason to stop breathing for you. I love you, but should be crazy to back with you, nothing is gonna change. Last nite you saw me "haunting" then U send me an email, u contradict yourself, u want me but u don't want to spend time with me, U are tired to people talking to you but U still getting online!!! you love me but you want ur freedom, U already have it, what else do you want from me? I'm not that stupid to understand ur game so, I'd set you free... doesn't really matter. I don't want you in a cage, that's how you felt all this time, is so sad, u have the goats to blame me for this. Like you didn't anything wrong, it was ur turn enjoy it cuz we don't know how long is gonna last. I guess being a couple means just u and I, but I see you have a different idea about. I don't need an open relationship, that's stupid for me, we are in, or ,we are out of the relationship. Is that simple.
This is getting clear...so it doesn't hurt like I'd thought. I don't even reply ur email is nothing left, so tell me what's the point to start from scratch like you said, if we love each other but we can't be together, is not ZERO in this... so let this die with the nite. Is already dead.
Goodbye P.
Staying here for you
not held been I was crying
something asking not to do
thru my whole life
What did I ever listen
to your promises
When nothing changing
you and all the lies you said
These I leave all uses
nothing but the same
face the truth
you can't control my faith
No more lies
is painful to me
but I'm free at last
No more lies
no fear, no silence
now part of the past
Seems like that all your words
fear, has come crushing down
is seeking me to see
how little you are now
I'd never find myself
standing again right here
where I couldn't breath
before goes now I have no fear
Uh you take the pain
you'd gave when I was there
I doubt you have the strange to spare
Never again
will I be there like I was there for you before
now nothing is the same
cuz gone is the pain
not care with the blame
cuz gone is the pain
No More Lies By Fey
9.2.10
ThE kEy
I'm done waiting for you
breaking the chains
that used to tide my hands
now and then
my feelings still there
but I'm walking away
is no need to stop
breathing for you
Seeing you
was the key to unlock the door
your voice disappears
from my soul
I don't need you anymore
even want you anymore
You've got your freedom
have a lot of fun
fool someone else
with your fake monogamy
maybe they will
buy your tears
I was so afraid
to my fears
constant shame
to express myself
You've got me for a while
like borrow time
U said I need time to heal
wait for me
Why should I?
My love is big
but is bigger for myself
I'd never wanted to
share your bed
be free
just stay away from me
How can you send me a love song?
If you are looking for
take it back
I don't want it
I will find my peace
someday and somehow
but so far
I'm done waiting for you
the chains are broken
and my love too
I'm done waiting for you
This is my way to say goodbye to P, this what I'm feeling so is better end this agony taking you out off my life. Actually I didn't care u were in the same website, just some anger came to my mind bur after that I'm done with you.
I'm done waiting for you
breaking the chains
that used to tide my hands
now and then
my feelings still there
but I'm walking away
is no need to stop
breathing for you
Seeing you
was the key to unlock the door
your voice disappears
from my soul
I don't need you anymore
even want you anymore
You've got your freedom
have a lot of fun
fool someone else
with your fake monogamy
maybe they will
buy your tears
I was so afraid
to my fears
constant shame
to express myself
You've got me for a while
like borrow time
U said I need time to heal
wait for me
Why should I?
My love is big
but is bigger for myself
I'd never wanted to
share your bed
be free
just stay away from me
How can you send me a love song?
If you are looking for
take it back
I don't want it
I will find my peace
someday and somehow
but so far
I'm done waiting for you
the chains are broken
and my love too
I'm done waiting for you
This is my way to say goodbye to P, this what I'm feeling so is better end this agony taking you out off my life. Actually I didn't care u were in the same website, just some anger came to my mind bur after that I'm done with you.
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