uNa vEz Mas

La chica k mire en la terraza me ha hecho acercar a ella, pasando entre los cuerpos k no dejan de bailar, las luces neon k en ciertos momentos me dejan ver los rostros transparentes de los demonios k cargan cada uno de mis deseos en ellos.
Me toma de la mano, llevandome a la puerta por la cual entre, no quiero regresar a la habitacion con el Cristo sangrante, pero sus manos han hipnotizado mi cuerpo, solo sigue sus deseos. La observo detenidamente ps todo se ha kedado estatico, el tiempo no existe, un viejo reloj avanza en retroceso.
Mis ojos estan clavados en su mirada, sus ojos azules k cambian a negro con la intensidad de la luz, cada paso me lleva mas cerca de la habitacion. Finalmente estamos cruzando la puerta... alaridos provienen de la obscuridad, puedo ver las manos del Cristo.
Ella me dice su nombre, susurrandolo a mi oido; Majandra, escalofrio recorre mi cuerpo... hace frio, puedo ver mi respiracion condensandose en el aire. Camino entre la obscuridad, Majandra ya no esta a mi lado... las luces neon han desaparecido detras de mi, aunque la puerta aun esta abierta, ningun sonido proviene del otro lado.
El silencio inunda mis sentidos, me he quedado sin olores por percibir. Siento un aliento en mi odio, intento atrapar la sombra en la obscuridad. Soy yo Majandra, te he traido aki por k tienes que cruzar el umbral, el cristo sangrante esta esperandote.
Intento correr pero vuelvo al mismo lugar, su voz es tan intensa como el palpitar de mi corazon, cierro los ojos para poder ver detras de la obscuridad, todo se ha vuelto neon una vez mas, siluetas que siguen bailando, la pasion y electricidad se vuelven purpura. El agua en la que bailan es tan clara que se puede ver el alma de cada silueta.
Mi cuerpo tiene movimiento una vez mas, comienzo a caminar sobre el agua pero cada vez que doy un paso retrocedo entre la multitud, me he quedado contemplando todo a mi alrededor, luces de colores brillantes, espigas destellantes, las siluetas estan tomando forma, se han transformado en humanos, k usan ropa blanca. Yo el unico vistiendo negro, camino entre los ahora humanos. Todo se detiene, el tiempo avanza lentamente pero yo me puedo mover a la velocidad normal. Majandra aparece frente a mi, toma mi mano una vez mas el tiempo se acelera cual velocidad de la luz, solo puedo ver luces moviendose tan rapido, no tienen forma, pero aun creo k son las siluetas.
Abro los ojos y estoy una vez mas en la habitacion con el cristo sangrante, el portico se ha cerrado.... me acerca a el intentando abrilo, pero no puedo; la voz de Majandra me dice "busca en tu bolsillo trasero", lo hago encontrando una llave oxidada, la saco de mi bolsillo, la inserto en la cerradura... el portico se abre.
No hay luces ni sonido alguna, cruzo hacia el otro lado... viento vuela mi cabello, es tan frio k me ha enchinado la piel... Puedo ver el cielo, doy un paso mas y la puerta ha desaparecido a mis espaldas, esto parece ser la parte alta de la iglesia.
Mi ropa ya no es la misma, se ha tornado blanca, estoy descalzo, doy un paso mas y siento un fuerte abrazo, tan calido y excitante, un dulce olor a muerte ha inundado mis fosas nasales, llevando la senal a mi cerebro

No Se DecirTE

No se como empezar
a decirte que estes junto a mi
dame momentos espaciados
entre nuestro inicio sin final
No se como dejar de extranarte
dejando un tal vez entre los dos

Si hay algo en mi
espero sea para ti
hay mucho por hacer entre los dos
ahora quizas no
solo te puedo dar un tal vez

No se como empezar
a decirte que te empiezo a querer
no senti que fuera yo
solo siento que eres tu
quien me ha hecho mover

Quiero tenerte cerca
tal vez esta noche
sea perfecta

No se como decirte
no se como empezar
solo se decirte, tal vez...

I wrote this song for S, when we were dating... wow is kinda hard to see how many times I had the chance to love and my ego was stronger... well now I know love hurts.

ReAding My JourNal

I was reading my first journal, wow!!! can't believe all the things that I have there!, songs, draws, episodes of my life, my secret thoughts.
I'd realized my talent to write, if somebody can read it can think is a book, technically it is. It can be a really good movie: Horror, fantasy, drama, friendship, love, broken hearts, music... a new dimension of adventures.
I found a great "chapter", really interesting. Actually I'd forgot it 'till all the memories came back.
Im better Alone(blue side) October 27 (guessing) 2004
Always single, never alone...
This months I've been alone(without a relationship) I'm feeling better, having time for myself, learning a lil bit more in so many ways, I'd thought can't be alone for a while, I was so used to go out but it was just that "used to be". Here on Mexico(city of lost) have been dating a lil, but no one can fulfil that empty space on me for different factors: age, compatibility, mood, conversation, between more things, can be or is that I'm not ready to start a relationship, I've been more focused on myself, bc I want so many things for me. Yesterday had the answer for one question, I didn't went to my date with ?, listening Triple G, I reaffirm my position about this situation; First thing to do.- Get peace with myself, then in the club I just find the sex of my life not the love of my life, it will arrive in the right moment no before, no after.
That's why I walked away from my last date. Being on stand by without leaving the fun out, the party keep going... I'm looking for some action, I don't know why is a "but" in all this(:S)
I'm better alone anyway..
Don't tell me by Avril Lavigne

tAke It AwaY
by Becky Baeling

I was about the water when u found me, so load in sadly,
but I wasn't drowning, I bet you take me into yards of rapids,
I'll let you hold me, but you don't control me.

Because I want you,and know I need you,
my love is easy as I can give it up, just might take it away
The shore is sunny shiny just might break like the rain,
now that I’m giving you my heart don’t let it break,
you can not my love or take it away.

After you spare the fields for you to come to see this,
it wasn’t easy so don’t you dease me,
because I’m giving you more than anyone before you,
I’d let you know me, but you don’t know me

I've got the cd from this girl, I love her estyle and this song is just awesome, so electro, so "mind tripping"...

OnE moRe dAY

Is one more I'd survive your love, how? I dunno. Today it was hard not to think about you, since early in the morning u are in my mind.
Alex and I we were talking about relationships, that I don't believe in second chances and forgiveness. Also about I don't wanna get involve with nobody, I said too " I don't believe in love right now", that is completely true. I don't blame you for this but U have ur contribution to make me give up on love.
I know the last months were so hard, but like in a movie u killed my last feelings left.
Can you tell how we used to be?
Can you deny u dont think of me quite the way I do?
Do you miss me?
Can you look me in th eye and tell me I dont want you in my life?

The 10th day without... can't stop loving you.

The sky has seen a million raindrops fall,
the hours seem to crawl.
And everyday that passes is the same
just like yesterday.
I can't find any way to forget you because,
to keep on loving you is inevitable.
Inevitable by Shakira

tOdAy

Finally someone knows about you, I told Maria everything that happened that sunday morning, now she knows who u are.... Well the first person to know this and the last, bc I'm not ready yet to tell the world. So u still in my mind... Im still loving you, but can't be with you anymore... I don't need you, but I do love you.
Anyway today was a better day, hope this week gets better.
The 9Th day without you....

The 7 things I like about you
Your hair, your eyes, your old Levi's
And when we kiss, I'm hypnotized
You make me laugh, you make me cry
But I guess that's both I'll have to buy
Your hand in mine
When we're intertwined everything's alright
I want to be
With the one I know
And the 7th thing I like the most that you do
You make me love you
You do (oh)

pArAdisIo
So today I had a revelation about us, the needing of taking one day @ the time is the best for me, just worry about tomorrow was so difficult that idea was smashing my brain. Lina and I we were talking about depression, sadly to admit; I'm. But that it doesn't mean I have to stop my life, my "estado" make sleepless nights, well I do sleep well for some hours but early something wake me up, prolly the emptiness in my heart what u left on me.
Anyway, I had an online consultation with my private doctor(My best friend Jay) so he told me: I need to relax and stop worry about anything is the only way to get the sleep back.
Basically today was a good day, I'd "survive". This is the 8Th day without you....but who is counting?

Bailando, bailando
amigos adios, adios el silencio loco
bailando bailando...

WhAt eLse can i Say!?

Im getting tired of talk about ur illusion in my head, My feelings still there for you, they will be forever, but the logical part of my life is telling to keep going without you, knowing the facts between us, prolly u already move on...so it doesen't matter if it is a week or 700 hundred days, is not me wanting to forget you, but Im feeling like Big from Sex and the City, posting my feelings in this blogspot. I will do it when need to talk about you, but today it was a normal day without you. Now im riping some songs from the cd you gave me months ago, even I thought they gonna make me feel blue, they didn't. Actually some songs are really good.
So maybe is me giving up on you...
This is me today, I dont know who I will be tomorrow. I love you P.

sUndAy(sWe3t aGonY)

It has been a week since the last time we've been together, I remember me being at 3:45 am waiting in my car in the parking lot waiting for your lite to come out, the minutes became an hour, but nothing happend @ that moment, anyway, U did text me early in the morning, back and forth like a roller coaster, finally I'd decided to break the silence so I'd called you.
I was crying bc it hurted so much.... so you asked me to go to your house, the lil flame was on, but not for long. U were waiting for me, the first thing we did was hold each other for a while, then a sweet kiss make us believe for a second in another chance to try.
We sat in the couch for a while, just touching each others face, holding our bodies so tide against the situation. I played These Four Walls, we've cried together; then the Passion we can't resist, kissing your body one more time, feeling your hands running thru my skin... we ended in your room... I was holding you so tide, we were naked, just YOU and ME.
The time went so fast, it was time for you to go to work...........tic tac, tic tac... can't wait to see you again, my heart was pounding like before, but sadly our reality, ur reality was so different than mine.. We didn't make it to the final lap, we were running in opposite directions. My head and heart were a tornado of emotions, I know u were feeling the same. The love and lose of trust were the two facts that cannot get fix. So I left your house with my heart broken in million pieces(I'm still looking for 'em). That was the begining of my life without you.
After seven days, after 500000 feelings, 79 love songs, 2 seasons of Charmed... Im still thinking about you, loving you with all my heart, but knowing is no chance for us.

I want your loving
And I want your revenge
You and me put on a bad romance
I want your loving
All your love is revenge
You and me put on a bad romance

KeEp gOinG

I went to the club, but some strange feeling was telling me to go home, so I waited out for Roberto, but he didn't showed up on time, so hearing my inner voice, I left and come back home.
I dont know if that something was telling me that u gonna be there, what if u went with someone else? Can't deal with that right now, so guessing I'm better @ home, sleeping.
This is a short post, just wanted to xpress my feelings.

Apologize by One Republic

I'd take another chance,
Take a fall, take a shot for you.
I need you like a heart needs a beat,
But it's nothin' new.
I loved you with a fire red,
Now it's turnin' blue...
And you say...
Sorry, you're not the angel
Heaven let me think was you...
But I'm afraid...

If WE aRe a MoVie?
hOw wE cAll It?

The script is gonna start like this:
Drawing illusion in thin air, painting the next chapter in our lives with paint from the starts, if we wanted blue we take it from the very moon.

Scene 1
April 25Th 11:00 am, I'm driving without any clue where to find you, I call you to ask you for directions, u answer kinda nervous, take the next street, i will meet you outside.
Finally I'd found the way, you are walking thru the street in the middle of the crowd, I'm walking too, so we meet in the corner. I saw you for the first time, we introduced each other: Hi, I'm G! Hi, I'm P!, we keep walking and decided what we wanna do. Saying so many places to have lunch but we agree eat @ California Kitchen. We are there face to face with nothing to say, one pizza to share, u are drinking water and me a mango ice tea, the silence between us is so big, so I break it with a joke... U laugh.... we are done eating, check please....
U invite me to your house to watch a movie, I do accept but I have to work after, around 4 is a Saturday.
So we got into your apartment, u are searching for a movie in the PS3, Taken is the one we start watching, but the sexual tension is so dense, you start puking my ribs, it tickles I say, but both we know whats gonna happen, our bodies are screaming to get closer, feel skin, the naked skin. Im getting close to kiss you... I feel your hands going thru my hair.... Our lips are in madness.... my hands running thru ur skin.
I can't help it, the passion is on the air, just keep kissing me, don't stop... let ur senses get lose into mines. After a while our clothes are lying in the floor, can't hardly resist so the xplosion of sex is on. My lips are kissing every corner of you, u are shakin, maybe is all the sensations in ur body, chemistry againts reason. I feel ur hands in my back, even I dont like that part of my body it makes me feel.. We keep wrapping our bodies on pleasure. The climax is running thru our vains, making us xplode in sensations.
Minutes after I have to say goodbye bc Ihave to work. Ur face is not telling me anything, so dunno if we going to repeat this again.

Scene 2
Our cell phones are so hot, we can't stop texting each other. Saying things without any sense, but we read between lines. Days pass some sporadic dates come and go but is one to remember.

Scene 3
A magical nite to remember, is the river and the lights, the moon and the stars, the sky is blue like never before. I pick u up without telling you where we going. Just a couple phone calls, 100's of text, the coin is in the air to bet my wings, to see the green in ur eyes, I'm not sure if you like this, but, no need to wait(well thats in my mind).
We are walking on the side of the river, all I can think is the magic of this nite, wishing, hoping to dont screw up.
U look @ me, like I'm a crazy dreamer just floating in clouds, but the sound of the air is telling you: " take the chance", so you do.
The hours goes so fast, the nite has to end, like in a fairy tale... but our love is real. Is the first time you telling me what u feeling:"U are waking up feelings I'd thougth they were so lost, but now u show me what's the love all about".
I can't deny my love for you either, part of me was hiding behind the wall, scare, but taking the risk is the only way to see love.
Love music is the background, Closer by Mel C
Loving you madly will be forever
I see the ocean in your eyes when we're together
There are no boundaries
There are no limits
My heart has been embraced now that you're in it
(Chorus)
Hold me closer to your dreams
Closer to your fears
Close to hear your laughter
Hold me when you're close to tears
Even i dont have the rights for the song, it has to be part of the soundtrack.

Scene 4
Im in the middle of the room, can't breath, my head is ready to xplode, feelings coming and going.... dunno what to do, only u can calm me down. Come here, astro project urself to rescue me. The darkness is invading my room, the candles are burning into, what I will do in this darkness? suddenly ur inner light is showing. I can hear your footsteps, u getting closer to reach my hand, to calm down my madness. I feel you, just hold me, I say.
My silence are the only sorrow... but the same silence is gonna kill the stars in the sky. It will be.

Scene 5
U are crying, first time ur tears are running, why? is because of me?. Can be this true?....

(The next scene still in my head, but i need to be able to put it on this blog)

Talking about my day without you, was long and boring, after work Zam and I, we went to the movies to watch Legion(Angels are awesome), Im boring now dunno what to do, maybe dance for a while?, Im tired 2...
The 5Th day without you

hOurS(gone)

The hours seems slow. Just watching the clock in my wall, just counting the minutes for the day, a day without you.
I was searching in my phone and I'd found ur number(btw I just delete it) I've got it for the last time that u called me in Sunday when u asked me: What we are? How we should call this? and I said: U are u and me is me. Anyway I don't want ur number bc I will have the temptation to call u, hear your voice and make my heart lie to me.
Last nite one episode of Charmed was about Cupid, how he makes love happens, funny isn't it?. But love isn't forever and when some of us we just close the heart, like that is impossible to let love go thru. At the end like a typical script love is more powerful so it wins, not in our case right?. I always believe love is all around even a simple cloud can make love different.
I decided to have a movie night, Star Trek and Paranormal Activity, so far is been good, I took a break to play Bayonetta(the game is so good but is to short, I saved the receipt so i will return the game) I will watch the other one when I'll be ready to go to bed.
Something weird happens to me today; I didn't listen songs that remain of you, isn't bc don't miss you like crazy, but my head wasn't in the mood to deal with the situation. My room is so clean and smells good, my laundry is done but your voice still saying my name?
I went to Walmart to have the food for the week, this is gonna sound crazy, but every part of the store had something that remain me of you... I know is kinda cheap, hehehe. When I was there it feels like another dimension of goodies and things to share with you. I have some "junk food" also healthy one to keep on my diet, actually I'm thinking to enjoy the gym next month to get my six pack(not of beer's).
That was my day, the 4Th day without you.

Y...
¿tú cómo estás?
espero que bien,
te echo de menos.

Yo...
¿qué puedo decir?
si no estas... aquí,
sólo espero.

SoMebodY aSk fOr yoU?

Alex asked me about you, he said: who is it that u are so in love?, well my answer was: I don't wanna talk about it. When he was asking me that my heart was pounding, the sensation of love was running thru my body.
Talking about another thing, today Gerardo went to get lunch with me, he's is a really good friend of mine, it has been like 6 months since the last time we've seen each other, he looks different, but he's still being Gynger for me. We wanted to go to the movies to see Daybreakers but I had things to do(TV), so he decided to go to the gym. We've talk for a while(10 minutes) but it was so cool see him again, we agreed to go out next week, hope we can do it.
I had a good day @ work after all, being with the "Golosos" help me to dont think about you. I eat pizza today... and some mexican pastrys the ones that u like so much.
The vampire diaries is back, so i came home to watch it... now have to do that beacuse u used to downloaded for me, not anymore. In the episode Stefan tell the truth to Elena, and she was upset but relief to know the truth. I know u didn't like the show 2 much, but Im fan of vampaires. I wish can be one to move faster, jump higher and be more romantic with all that I have. Wishing I can be the vampire u need in your life to show u my other life's, share my dreams and the eternal night.
My day is almost over, just watching Charmed to waste time, just waiting for bedtime.
Is the 3rd day without you(again.


The smile on your face
Lets me know
That you need me
There's a truth
In your eyes
Saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says
You'll catch me
Whenever I fall
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all

HIV teST

Yoday I went to the clinic to take the HIV test, it was negative for now. U wondering why did I took the test? Part is bc I don't belive when said to me: "I didn't sleep with anyone but you" and the other part bc was for myself to make sure I'm ok. Well i wish we took it together... Im negative for now.
I was in ur old neighborhood, a lot memories were in my head, me trying to find your house, that april 25th in the middle of the crown, u wearing red shorts with ur clueless walk. The nites we spend in your old apartment. Cool memories came down.
Im planing going to the movies to see The Lovely Bones, we talk about that movie and we wanted to see it 2gether. Im gonna save your seat if you wanna come(I wish), So tecnically that was part of my day without you.
So I went to see the movie, it's so great is long but u gonna like it. I didn't eat popcorn is weird, isnt it? lol. Some moments in the movie I was holding your hand specially when something about the movie was telling me what should I do for the next date.
Anyway this is the end of my day without you, like every other night I will take my pills to fall sleep.

De tardes negras
que no hay tiempo ni espacio
y nadie nunca entendera...

My day just started...and once again i miss you so much...

FirSt daY

Like I thought, you never email me back, maybe u never will. I made a play list in my ipod I called "Songs to Forget", sometimes it helps listen to songs that remain me of you, my day was hard every five seconds u were in my mind, but what can i do? just holding my smile and pretend everything is all OK, that what i will do on front of the people, but now I'm alone and can't hide my real feelings. Like I said before can't cry anymore because is no more tears in my eyes. I miss you like crazy. I'm hoping dont get hopeless.
Is all can say now, I will wait a lil to take my pills to fall sleep... like that the agony is less painful.
I love you P.

LaSt of ThE lAst

This is gonna be the last time i will talk about you, u took ur desition and U can't have me and have someone else, i love you so much but I love myself more to let you do that, i dont wanna share ur bed with someone else. U texted me "I wanna try again" and then u just let me down. We talked for hours and we cried for hours, i know u love me but i dont want to wait 'till u decided u wanna be with me, so my best bid is giving u back ur freedoom, that's what u ask me, u dont wanna be in a relationship, neither do I, i wanted to be with you, so is nothing left for me. Is time for me to move on and pretend u dont exist for me, that u were just a dream.
I will never talk about you, i will never say ur name with nobody,because if I keep doing it i will not survive, I just closed that chapter in my imagination... I will leave you alone, i dont have any way to contact you, I'd just erase everything about you(I wish i could be a better actor), whatever is done is done. I cant promise you the moon and the stars, but one thing I know i would do anything to get you back, but is to late. I know my mistakes and u already know yours. This hurts like never before, i was there on front of you to see you at least one more time, and i did, now u will be in my heart even is broken, cant even find the lil pieces, they are all over the place, I cant have u in my mind because the rational part of it cant handle it.... so I'd never regret anything like this... u were my reason to keep going, now my reason is myself...I wish we can have another chance to be together and start all over. Now u know how scare i was to show my feelings, I'd always ended worse. So I will build my bubble and dont let anyone get into my life for long time, Im so fragile...
Im not crying because i dont have more tears. I dont know when i will be able to talk to somebody about this, i will keep it to myself like I'd always do, if somebody ask me about u, i will change the conversation.
Even if I deny my love for you, i will love you 'till i cant anymore... My silence kill us and it will kill me slowly.
Goodbye P.

Just know I love the time that we both had
And I don't ever want to see you sad, be happy
Cause I don't want to hold you
If you don't want to tell me you love me babe
Just know I'm gonna have to walk away
I'll be big enough for both of us to say, be happy
Bottom of the Ocean by Miley Cyrus

And part of me still believes
When you say you’re gonna stick around
And part of me still believes
We can find a way to work it out
But I know that we tried everything we could try
So let's just say goodbye
Forever
Out from Under by Britney

I say don't get too close
protect yourself from love.
It's hard to stay afloat
when you try and you try and you try.
I say don't get too close
protect yourself from love.
Yet, I find it hurts the most
when you try and you try and you try
and you're not close enough.
Close Enough by Keo Nozari


You teach me how to love
Parts of myself
I hated for so long
Loving myself
Through loving you
I no longer live like a man in the dark
Hiding all the pieces of my broken heart
Way up high I'm holding on
Way up high I'm holding on to you
Feel by Darren Hayes

Everything you’ve wanted
Lies deep within me
I’m really sweet inside
I’ll unlock you with my key
Let me Show U by Fey

wish that I could make you stay
but I know I have no power to persuade
the heart will do what it must do
So kiss me
one last time
and tell me how to live my life without you
Cause I love you without and ending
cause I need you to be my everything
tell me the meaning of a life without you with me
when the night falls I'll still be standing
cause you'll always be right here in my heart
and in my deepest memories
I will never have to be without you
love is like a work of art
once you feel it you hold it in your heart
you know forever that its true
so kiss me
for always
even if I live my life without you
Without You by Laura Pausini

I find you standing there
Telling me you're sorry
A lonely tear rolling down your face
You hold me, then time stops
I struggle to kiss you
And you just take my breath away
Just hold on for a second my love
Just to tell me this whole thing is wrong
Would you please just keep it down low?
Spare me 5 minutes
I wanna feel your sweet and soft touch
All over me
I want this kiss to last forever
We're both off limits
As we wrap it up we both know
That the end is just right here
Right here, oh
I'm feeling too scared now
Just trying to understand
Why this love couldn't be crystal clear
Your lips feel so freezing
Demanding sweet kissing
Is it the air 'cause I just can't breathe?
Just hold on for a second my love (For a second)
Just to tell me this whole thing is wrong
Would you please just keep it down low?
Spare me 5 minutes
I wanna feel your sweet and soft touch
All over me
I want this kiss to forever
We're both off limits
As we wrap it up we both know
At the end it's just right here
Please hold my hand, love
My breath won't come back again
Say that you love me that you're not the one to blame
At least for just one second
I believe your words are true love
Keep it down low by Rbd

MenTirAs PiaDosas

Mientras decia mentiras acerca de kerer olvidarte, han sido en vano, ya no puedo mas... kiero gritar k te amo, k regreses a mi lado. Son tantas cosas k me recuerdan a ti, hasta un simple silencio. Pero tengo tanto miedo de volverte amar, pero la parte racional de mi cabeza dice k me ekivoko igual k un topo, el corazon insiste, sigue palpitando a mil al oir tu nombre, ver tus fotos me es tan dificil k las evito. Intentando mantenerme ocupado, distrayendo mi mente para no pensar en ti.
Pero como puedo confiar en ti si has estado "buscando" en ese website? Se k yo estube ahi pero solo para hacerte saber k duele verte y no tenerte.
Me oculto detras de mi muro y el silencio de mi habitacion, escuchando These Four Wall de Miley, solo no puedo coger el telefono; marcar tu numero, oir tu voz.
Ya hace mas de dos semanas k no te veo, no siento tu tierno abrazo.... trato de seguir buscando las respuestas incorrectas....

While i was saying lies about to forget you, they've been in vain, i can't... i want scream that I love you, come back to my side. Its a lot of things that remain me of you, even a simple silence. But im so afraid to love you again, but the racional part of my head is telling im mistaken like an animal,the heart insist, keep beating 1000 times everytime that I've heard ur name, look at ur pictures is so hard Im avoid them. Im trying to keep myself busy, distracting my mind to dont think of you.
But how can i trust you knowing u are "looking" in that website?, i know i was there too, it was just to let you know it hurts seeing and dont having you.
I hide myself behind my wall and the silence in my room, listening These Four Walls by Miley, I can't pick the phone, dial your number, listen to your voice.
Is more than two weeks I didn't see you, i dont feel ur sweet arms around me...Im trying to look for the wrong answers.


Mentiras Piadosas
Alejandra Guzman

Hasta hoy me doy cuenta
que la vida no es nada si no tengo tu mirada.
Ni siquiera imaginaba que me harías tanta falta.
No sé qué es lo que pensaba.
Hoy que no estás
ya no encuentro las palabras
para decirte que me falta cada momento que me dabas.
Creo que voy a enloquecer si no te vuelvo a ver.

Dime que mañana vendrás, dime que no puedes vivir
Sólo dímelo así.
Dime que te duele terminar, dime que te sientes muy mal
Mentiras piadosas no me vienen nada mal.
No me vienen nada mal.

Tu sonrisa en la mañana
Tus caricias en mi espalda
son recuerdos que me matan.
Hoy que no estás ya no encuentro las palabras
para decirte que me falta cada momento que me dabas.
Creo que voy a enloquecer si no te vuelvo a ver.

Dime que mañana vendrás, dime que no puedes vivir
Sólo dímelo así.
Yo te creo todo, quiero ser feliz.
Dime que te duele terminar, dime que te sientes muy mal
Mentiras piadosas no me vienen nada mal.
No me vienen nada mal.

staRting fRom zEro

This is the history about a guy who felt in love and suddenly one day the love was killed by the shadow of silence, the silence was the only word he can pronounced, besides "i love u", his feelings were growing, being stronger for the other, but the shadow was hunting him every minute, just repressing all communication. Some draws, some songs were the only way to show the real person who he was.
Months passed, everything went like a roller coaster, every little piece of his fragile heart was falling down. He always hide himself behind a wall made of bad experiences, the wall was almost unbreakable, day by day he was working so hard to destroy at least one brick, sadly the wall was getting higher.
The "other" just stay watching, creating more bricks to add into the wall.
Somehow the trust got lost in a sex website, the words weren't enough to fix the problem, no more movies, no more sleepless nights, the last song to remember, a simple paint with part of his heart, four walls an endless night inside.
He just walked away in the middle of the night, a mile of pain and snow...
Nothing could save the love, nothing never will.
That's the history how he decided start all over from zero.